Awesome And Awful All At Once

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Golda Poretsky, HHCgolda poretsky knitting factory
www.bodylovewellness.com

In the past, I always hated being a beginner.

Despite the fact that I love to learn new things, I never liked being really new at something.  I never liked feeling lost and confused.  I never liked the feeling that other people were catching on to something that I wasn’t getting.

When I decided to play bass at Ladies’ Rock Camp this summer, I knew it was a big leap.  I knew that in 2.5 days I was going to learn a bit of bass, form a band, make t-shirts, write a song with my band, and play at the Knitting Factory.  And that was pretty much all I knew.  I didn’t know anyone else at the camp.  I had never played bass before in my life (in fact, I had never played a stringed instrument ever).

But as I walked in to bass class on the first morning of camp, I decided one thing — for once in my life, I was going to embrace being a beginner.  I was going to embrace the power of having a beginner’s mind, of knowing nothing, and therefore being open to all possibilities. As Shunryu Suzuki said in Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind, “When we have no thought of achievement, no thought of self, we are true beginners. Then we can really learn something. The beginner’s mind is the mind of compassion. When our mind is compassionate, it is boundless.”

goddess tarot deck fool kris waldherr

Beginnings (The Fool) From The Goddess Tarot Deck By Kris Waldherr

This same concept shows up in the tarot as well.  The first card of the deck, the zero card, is called the Fool.  But the fool isn’t truly foolish, he or she is just a newbie.  This card implies the beginning of a journey, within or without, the sacred nature of being open to possibilities, the primordial soup within each of us and the power of being a real beginner.

So why am I writing about being a fool and a beginner?  Because I’m hoping to illustrate (perhaps a little clumsily) the power of being new at something.

When we try something new, we often feel powerless.  We feel that we’re at the whim of our teachers, mentors, and counselors.  We feel pressure to get it right, to be prodigies, to not feel lost or admit that we’re lost.

But I think that being new at something can be really powerful.  The first time you wear a sleeveless top can be really powerful.  The first time that you ask a guy out can be really powerful.  The first time you pick up a bass and hear that sound ring out of your amp as it bounces around the room can be really, really powerful.  It can be really freaking scary too, but I agree with Shunryu Suzuki.  When your mind is compassionate, it is boundless.

So, my newbie friends, what are you going to be new at this week?

And if you want to try something really new, I’ll be making a big announcement about The Empress Club in just a few days.  It’s a group program designed to rocket you toward your food and body image desires.  We talked about it at the last teleclass . . . but there’s more to come.  So stay tuned!

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Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. To learn more about Golda and her work, click here.


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7 thoughts on “Awesome And Awful All At Once”

  1. Golda, I totally relate to this. I’m a terrible beginner…if I’m not great at something right away, I want to discard it. But this is definetely one of the things I am trying to work on in my life, one of the ways I sabatoge myself. I’m certainly glad I’m not the only one.

  2. This is fantastic. It’s taken me a lot of work to get over my issues that if I’m not good at something right away that I should just quit, or that when it’s not worth doing if I can’t be extraordinary. Sometimes it’s ok to do something just because it’s fun even if I’m not stellar at it. Thanks for the reminder :)

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  4. This was perfect for me this morning… this morning I decided to start riding my boke to work. I had never done it before so was really nervous about route, where to store it, packing office clothes etc etc… basically I was worried about people thinking, “What is that fat redhead think she is doing perched up on that bike?” I had to really shake off some of the self-hating commentary and just put myself out there. So I gave myself plenty of time… when I got frustrated due to lack of bike racks and not knowing where to put my bike, I took a deep breath and told myself to slow down.

    And here I am at work feeling astoundingly exhilarated, refreshed, happy, energized I feel so great. I am glad I did not talk myself out of doing something good for me and for the planet.

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