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by Golda Poretsky, H.H.C.
www.bodylovewellness.com

Listen to the podcast of this post here:

Last week, thanks to Kevin Smith’s vocalness about his mistreatment on South West airlines and NAAFA’s willingness to let me be their spokesperson, I had the opportunity to appear on two national news programs.

As some of you know, I am a ham. (I was part of a musical improv comedy team at the P.I.T. for a while, and that stuff is not for the faint of heart.) Not only that, though I sometimes struggle with my eagerness to avoid confrontation, I love to have a good fight about things that matter to me, and discrimination in any form really rankles me. So when Kevin Smith decided to talk about his experience, and his 1.6 million twitter fans and the national media decided to listen, I was all too happy to make some appearances for the big fat good.

Until now, Body Love Wellness, has kind of flown under the radar. The toughest, most critical comments I would get were of the, “hey, I don’t think that tip would work for me” variety, and even then the commenters were usually willing to engage with me about what might work for them instead. So I wasn’t accustomed to getting real, trolly hatemail. I wasn’t accustomed to the kind of hatemail and comments that were only about how I looked and had nothing to do with what I wrote or said.

I’m so used to ignoring the comments at various non Fat-O-Sphere blogs that I completely forgot that adults, protected by the veil of the Internet’s anonymity, find it perfectly acceptable to insult other people with bullshit playground name-calling.

The comments started to get to me until a part of me, maybe that little eight-year-old inside of me, said something to the effect of, “Look, you survived elementary school, middle school and junior high for godsakes. How are you going to let some anonymous Internet idiots bring you down?”

And that part of me was right. In other words, I can’t play it small because someone else called me big. I can’t live my life small, avoiding conflict, avoiding the public eye, just because a bunch of jerks think I should be smaller. The more willing we all are to be out there about who we are and what we look like, the more power we will have as a group and as individuals.

In essence, if I weren’t the only fatty on The Early Show on Thursday, then maybe the couple of hostile commenters that took the time to search for me on google, find my blog and comment wouldn’t have known who they should pick to pick on.  Maybe they wouldn’t have even noticed my fatness if fat people on television weren’t so unexpected.

And yes, I’m going to wear an even bigger pattern the next time I’m on TV. :)

So this week, let’s all try to live a little bit bigger. Try something you wouldn’t normally try, speak up about something that matters to you. Extra credit if you wear something outrageous in the process.

As always, let me know how it goes in the comments section!
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Golda Poretsky, H.H.C. is a certified holistic health counselor who specializes in transforming your relationship with food and your body. Go to http://www.bodylovewellness.com/stay-in-touch/ to sign up for her newsletter and get your free download — Golda’s Top Ten Tips For Divine Dining.

If you’re in the NYC area, do not miss Golda’s March classes.  Click here to learn more or to register.

Looking for more support with intuitive eating and getting off diets? Click here to sign up for your FREE Body Love Wellness Consultation.

by Golda Poretsky, H.H.C.
www.bodylovewellness.com

Listen to the podcast of this post here:

For much of my adult life, I hid aspects of myself away.  To some people, I was an analytical lawyer, while others knew me only as a health counselor, or a tarot reader, or a improv comedy performer.  I would keep all of these aspects separate, sometimes for self preservation, and sometimes just to make things easy.

Recently, I was interviewed by the Huffington Post’s Nancy Ruhling as part of her Astoria Character’s series.  In the article, I’m pictured with tarot cards in my hands, talking about every part of my career.  When I read the piece, my first reaction was not excitement but fear.  I thought that I might lose health counseling clients who wouldn’t like that I was a lawyer, legal clients who wouldn’t like that I was a tarot reader, and so on and so on.

I took a moment to really connect with the fear, and I soon realized that it was just an old fear of rejection, an old fear of being really seen.   And it was a fear that was wrapped up in old realities that don’t really apply to me anymore.  I realized that I want to be seen and known for all of who I am, and that the world and the economy has changed enough that more and more people are accustomed to multi-career professionals.  I have many friends and clients who have more than one career, and I have lots of clients who have hired me for more than one of my talents.    Bringing all of these parts of me together even led to an epiphany about the work I love doing as a lawyer.

So why am I sharing all of this with you?  Because I want you to know that you don’t have to hide who you are as much as you think you need to.   And I believe that the more you and I can stop hiding, the more we can release guilt and shame, and the more we can feel great about who we are.

When you tell the world who you are, by sharing more of yourself with the people around you, you affirm to yourself and to others that you accept who you are.  You affirm to yourself and others that you’re proud of who you are.  You allow your talents to shine.  You allow yourself to share more of your gifts with the world.  You get to receive acceptance and praise for all that you are.  And you release things like guilt, shame, and any perfectionist tendency you might have to create an “acceptable” facade.

And while we’re on the subject of hiding, a great way to release shame about your body is to stop hiding the parts of it that you feel are too fat or not attractive.  For tips on how to do that so that you feel really great, check out this post from the summer.

Just so we’re clear, I’m not saying that you should immediately send an invitation to the CEO of your company inviting him or her to your burlesque show, but it might be okay to send the invitation to your buddy from your writing class.  I think you get the idea.

So this week, think about a way that you could share more of yourself with the world.   For example, think of 3 things you might want to try and pick the easiest one this week.  Just to start you off, you could:

1) Send an email to some friends letting them know about a new class or event you’re taking part in.
2) Wear something you wouldn’t typically wear, like patterned tights or a color you don’t usually try.
3) Tell a close friend about a dream or desire that you have that you haven’t shared yet with anyone.

The purpose of this exercise is not to knock down your barriers all at once.  But if you can take these small leaps out of your comfort zone and share more of who you are more of the time, you will notice a new sense of a freedom and a new ability to stand for who you are.

As always, let me know how it goes in the comments section!
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Golda Poretsky, H.H.C. is a certified holistic health counselor who specializes in transforming your relationship with food and your body. Go to http://www.bodylovewellness.com/stay-in-touch/ to sign up for her newsletter and get your free download — Golda’s Top Ten Tips For Divine Dining.

If you’re in the NYC area, do not miss Golda’s March classes.  Click here to learn more or to register.

Looking for more support with intuitive eating and getting off diets? Click here to sign up for your FREE Body Love Wellness Consultation.

by Golda Poretsky, H.H.C.
www.bodylovewellness.com

Listen to the podcast of this post here:

Oh, Valentine’s Day.  It does such a number on so many people.  Whether you’re in a relationship and don’t know how to celebrate or you’re not in a relationship and nearly hallucinating a hoarde of happy couples wherever you go, Valentine’s Day can easily mess you up.

I remember one particularly heinous Valentine’s Day weekend back in 2006.  Valentine’s Day was on a Tuesday, so it was as if the whole weekend beforehand were reserved for happy couples. I hadn’t had a date in a year.  All of my friends were coupled off.  I spent nearly the entire weekend at home, studying  my Institute for Integrative Nutrition homework and reading a dreary 19th century novel.  Those two things, in and of themselves, were not so bad, but from my perspective at the time, they felt like symptoms of my angst-ridden singleness.

Then, on Sunday afternoon of that never-ending weekend, my doorbell rang. I wrapped my shawl around my shoulders and went to the door.

At first, all I saw was a bouquet of roses.  But there was my apartment building’s super, a tiny, sprightly octogenarian, bringing me flowers during my lonely Valentine’s Day weekend.

I’m not telling you this to say that if you’re feeling really lonely someone’s going to show up with a bouquet of flowers.  Nor will I say that I wasn’t often creeped out by my super’s willingness to ignore a 50 year age difference, and later on, my boyfriend.  But I will tell you that from that day on, I started acknowledging the fact that someone in my life had feelings for me.  He might have been a head shorter and a half century older, but he dug me.  And that was cool, and not another reason to think I was a dork.  I decided to let that feeling of being admired sink into my bones and my bloodstream, and to know that there was more love and adoration coming my way.

After playing with this idea for about two months, I started getting way more dates from the same online dating sites that were yielding nothing a few months before.

Sometimes you just have to feel the love before it’s really there.

So, this week, if you’re feeling unloved, try this technique.  Start thinking of all the people in your life who express their love for you (or even their “like” for you).  Think about your friends who think you’re awesome, the guy at the deli who gives you a free cup of coffee now and again, your coworker who thinks your impressions are hilarious, family members who adore you, people in your life who might not be there now but who were important to you at one time, even your pets who freak out with happiness when you’re near.  Write it all down if it feel right.  Then notice if you find yourself feeling more loved.  As always, let me know how it goes in the comments below.

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Golda Poretsky, H.H.C. is a certified holistic health counselor who specializes in Health At Every Size.  She counsels women and men on how to get off the dieting roller coaster, give their bodies what they really crave, and love their bodies and themselves.

Looking for more support with intuitive eating and getting off diets?  Click here to sign up for your FREE Body Love Wellness Consultation.

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