by Golda Poretsky, H.H.C.
www.bodylovewellness.com

Listen to the podcast of this post here:

I’ve been avoiding this topic for a while now, just because it’s complicated.  In fact, it’s way more complicated than Meryl Streep’s situation in the movie It’s Complicated, and probably more complicated than the television show called Denise Richards: It’s Complicated, though I haven’t seen the latter, so I can’t be sure.

The topic is: how do you handle food allergies when you’re trying to eat intuitively?

A number of you have asked me, and I’m going to try to answer it here.  Though, I must add the disclaimer that what I’m about to say may not be appropriate or right for everyone, and if you’re really struggling with this, I would recommend having a few sessions with me to try to work through it.

I also need to add the disclaimer that intuitive eating is approached with a system of guidelines that can seem deceptively simple, but it can take a while (i.e., weeks, months, or years) to really feel like you’re doing it somewhat correctly.

When you have food allergies and you’re learning to eat intuitively, your food allergy concerns often come into conflict most with the intuitive eating principle of “eat what your body wants.”   The process of getting in touch with your body’s desires in terms of food can be a tricky one, especially if you’re accustomed to being on a diet and making choices based upon your diet’s rules.  Add to that a list of food rules due to allergies, and the whole thing can seem impossible.

So let’s talk first about allergies.  With food allergies, we’re really talking about a range of symptoms — from mild discomfort to possible death.  Since this range is so broad, let’s consider some categories:

• Severe Category — Severe food allergy that can lead to anaphylactic shock or other severe symptoms or exacerbate conditions such as celiac disease.
• Moderate Category — Food allergy that leads to symptoms that can last over a period of days, such as skin rashes or digestive issues.
• Mild Category  — Food allergy that causes temporary discomfort.

Let’s first talk about severe allergies.  If you have severe, life-threatening allergies, then, much like a dieter, you’re going to have to contend with a food or foods that you must avoid no matter what.  And for those of you with these kind of allergies, it may sometimes feel like punishment, even though you know that avoiding those foods isn’t punishment but a necessary component of your good health.  So my main recommendation for these type of allergies is to keep reminding yourself that by avoiding these foods, you’re treating yourself well.  You’re taking care of yourself by not eating peanuts or dairy or whatever foods are most troubling for you.  So if you have a severe gluten allergy but a major part of you is saying, “we want a bagel from the bagel store!” you will have to keep reminding yourself of how much you love to take care of yourself and how avoiding those foods is taking care of yourself.  Also, as much as possible, shift your internal focus toward foods that are non-allergenic for you, and use intuitive eating strategies where you focus on all of the things that you can eat without any issue.  Also, make sure to keep food available for yourself that is appropriate for you.

I say all this, but from my experience, people with severe allergies often are better at avoiding foods that they’re allergic to, mainly because the negative health effects are so  black and white.  When your choices are: don’t eat this and feel okay or eat this and go to the hospital, the choice is often so ingrained that the person barely takes time to think about it.

That being said, the food allergies that I and most of my clients struggle with are generally in the moderate to mild category.  Using myself as an example, I have a mild allergy to a number of fruits, including pineapple, strawberries and cantaloupe.  If I eat these foods, I usually get a sore throat for a few hours and then it just goes away.  In terms of more moderate allergies, I have a sensitivity to wheat, which sometimes seems to not bother me at all and sometimes causes bloating and itchy skin that may stick around for days.  (Charming, right?)  Anyway, those of you with these kind of allergies can relate to the calculus that sometimes goes through my head; i.e., well, if I just have half a bagel and then I don’t eat any more wheat for a few days it’ll probably be okay and maybe one taste of pineapple won’t hurt…  You know, you kind of make deals with yourself about your food allergies.

Last week, I had a really terrible cold.  I kept getting hungry, and I would check in with myself about what I wanted to eat, and every time, the only thing that appealed to me was a bagel with cream cheese and a soymilk smoothie with blueberries and raspberries.  I would check in with myself again and again, knowing full well that I was: (a) allergic to wheat, thus making bagels a problem, (b) probably overdoing it, for me, on processed grains, (c) not too keen on eating cream cheese when I had sinus congestion and (d) thinking that a cold drink like a smoothie probably wasn’t the best thing for me either, even if blueberries and raspberries couldn’t hurt.  But, I acquiesced, eating smoothies and bagels for pretty much every meal for about 2 and half days.  Amazingly, however, I didn’t have my usual wheat related symptoms, and I got over the cold way more quickly than normal.*

*Results not typical. (To borrow from every diet testimonial ever.)  I don’t use this example to say that you should always let your intuitive sense override knowledge of your food allergies.  What I am saying is that it can be a messy, mixed up process, and that our bodies are complicated and sometimes mysterious.

Perhaps some of you with food allergies that are mild or moderate are much stronger than I am on this topic, and are able to completely avoid those foods.  And if you can, kudos to you.  But if you’re like me (and many of my clients), food allergies, especially to highly popular and/or highly delicious foods, can be a struggle.

So to show some method to my madness, here’s my 4 part plan for working with intuitive eating when you have mild or moderate (i.e., not life threatening) food allergies.

1) When you’re hungry, take a deep breath and check in with your belly.  Ask your belly what it wants.  I find that, very often, even if my mouth is saying “bagels!” my stomach is saying, “Dude, bagels mess us up.  Can we at least compromise and have some brown rice bread?”

2) If you’re not getting a clear response from your stomach, give it some non-allergenic options.  Let your stomach mull it over and digest your options.  Try to pick food from a number of different categories (like different greens, different proteins, etc.) until you hit on ones that feel right.

3) Feed yourself what your body is telling you.  Now here’s the tricky part.  I truly believe that the vast majority of the time, if you’re checking in with your stomach, it’s going to lead you toward non-allergenic foods.  If you find that this isn’t the case for you, again, this is something that I would recommend chatting about with me, so that we can come up with what would work best for you.

4) Focus on feeling good, not being perfect.  Eating well is not about eating perfectly.  Eating well is not about eating 100% organic or completely avoiding sugar or any other rule that you’ve told yourself is required of you.  Eating well is about listening to your body and nourishing your body.

Again, if you’re struggling with food allergies and intuitive eating, I recommend working with me or someone like me to get some individual assistance.  If you’d like to discuss it more here, feel free to comment below.

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Golda Poretsky, H.H.C. is a certified holistic health counselor who specializes in transforming your relationship with food and your body. Go to http://www.bodylovewellness.com/stay-in-touch/ to sign up for her newsletter and get your free download — Golda’s Top Ten Tips For Divine Dining.

If you’re in the NYC area, do not miss Golda’s March classes.  Click here to learn more or to register.

Looking for more support with intuitive eating and getting off diets? Click here to sign up for your FREE Body Love Wellness Consultation.

by Golda Poretsky, H.H.C.
www.bodylovewellness.com

Listen to the podcast of this post here:

Oh, Valentine’s Day.  It does such a number on so many people.  Whether you’re in a relationship and don’t know how to celebrate or you’re not in a relationship and nearly hallucinating a hoarde of happy couples wherever you go, Valentine’s Day can easily mess you up.

I remember one particularly heinous Valentine’s Day weekend back in 2006.  Valentine’s Day was on a Tuesday, so it was as if the whole weekend beforehand were reserved for happy couples. I hadn’t had a date in a year.  All of my friends were coupled off.  I spent nearly the entire weekend at home, studying  my Institute for Integrative Nutrition homework and reading a dreary 19th century novel.  Those two things, in and of themselves, were not so bad, but from my perspective at the time, they felt like symptoms of my angst-ridden singleness.

Then, on Sunday afternoon of that never-ending weekend, my doorbell rang. I wrapped my shawl around my shoulders and went to the door.

At first, all I saw was a bouquet of roses.  But there was my apartment building’s super, a tiny, sprightly octogenarian, bringing me flowers during my lonely Valentine’s Day weekend.

I’m not telling you this to say that if you’re feeling really lonely someone’s going to show up with a bouquet of flowers.  Nor will I say that I wasn’t often creeped out by my super’s willingness to ignore a 50 year age difference, and later on, my boyfriend.  But I will tell you that from that day on, I started acknowledging the fact that someone in my life had feelings for me.  He might have been a head shorter and a half century older, but he dug me.  And that was cool, and not another reason to think I was a dork.  I decided to let that feeling of being admired sink into my bones and my bloodstream, and to know that there was more love and adoration coming my way.

After playing with this idea for about two months, I started getting way more dates from the same online dating sites that were yielding nothing a few months before.

Sometimes you just have to feel the love before it’s really there.

So, this week, if you’re feeling unloved, try this technique.  Start thinking of all the people in your life who express their love for you (or even their “like” for you).  Think about your friends who think you’re awesome, the guy at the deli who gives you a free cup of coffee now and again, your coworker who thinks your impressions are hilarious, family members who adore you, people in your life who might not be there now but who were important to you at one time, even your pets who freak out with happiness when you’re near.  Write it all down if it feel right.  Then notice if you find yourself feeling more loved.  As always, let me know how it goes in the comments below.

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Golda Poretsky, H.H.C. is a certified holistic health counselor who specializes in Health At Every Size.  She counsels women and men on how to get off the dieting roller coaster, give their bodies what they really crave, and love their bodies and themselves.

Looking for more support with intuitive eating and getting off diets?  Click here to sign up for your FREE Body Love Wellness Consultation.

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by Golda Poretsky, H.H.C.
www.bodylovewellness.com

Listen to the podcast of this post here:

This morning, I was feeling blah.  I was feeling eh.  I worked steadily from home all morning, finally showering and getting dressed in the late afternoon so that I could run a few errands before meeting a friend for tea.

I had thrown on boring, easy clothes — leggings and a sweater, not much makeup.  I had dressed like my mood, a little boring and dreary and gray.

I didn’t have to leave yet, so I decided to do this thing that I had learned from one of my mentors, Mama Gena.  It’s a skill that she teaches on the first day at her school, and most of her students consider it to be one of their most important, life changing tools.  Once I did it, it completely changed the tone of my day.

It’s called bragging, but it’s not your typical bragging.

With this type of bragging, you take responsibility for all of the amazing things that you do all the time.  It’s about acknowledging your power in the life you’ve created.  And the more you recognize this power, the more it grows and the more you get turned on to it.

Just like with typical bragging, a good brag is often all about (more…)

Just recently, I found myself experiencing something that is rare for me these days, but used to be part of my every day experience — body hatred. I felt like I was emotionally picking on myself all day. My hair was never right, my clothes were never right, my face looked puffy, and I felt more out of shape than usual. No matter what I did I couldn’t seem to get back to the much happier place that I had come to know as normal.

Luckily, I was able to move through this experience by using two methods — one that I have used for years and one that is new to me, but both that I highly recommend.

This first method, free writing, is one that I love to use with Body Love Wellness clients. It’s a great way to detox your brain of negative thoughts or to connect with your internal truth and wisdom. Sometimes I ask clients to free write on a particular topic that comes up in our sessions, such as “good and bad food” or “being perfect” or “being thin.” Very often, clients get in touch with their beliefs through this process, and they’re then able to work with them or change them.

In my case, after a week or so of living with this uncomfortable (and yet familiar) feeling of body hatred, I decided to spend some time free writing on the topic of beauty. After a few pages, I wrote “since you can’t see it in yourself right now, start looking for beauty everywhere.”

Something about that advice resonated with me. This second method of seeing the beauty everywhere started to move me out of my feelings of ugliness. I started noticing beauty everywhere — in the stark early winter trees, in the crinkly fine skin of the elderly lady who sat next to me on the subway, in the way an older sister held her younger sister’s little backpack. I started to see beauty again hundreds of times over that day, and the next morning I felt like myself again.

It was incredibly simple, and, well, beautiful.

So this week, I would love for you to try either of these tips.

1) Take some time to free write, either without a topic or on a topic that’s troubling you. Let your mind go where it wants. Don’t worry about editing or puncuation. Just write!
2) Make it a point to see the beauty in your surroundings as you go about your day. Try this for one day (or even one minute) and notice any changes.

As always, please comment below!

Attention New Yorkers! Join me at Maxi Craft and get your shop on! Re/Dress, the super fabulous plus sized vintage clothing store , is hosting a night of gorgeous handmade products by local designers. Come chat with me about Body Love and score some great holiday gifts!

DATE: Wednesday, December 9, 2009

TIME: 7:00-9:00PM

LOCATION: Re/Dress NYC 109 Boerum Place Brooklyn, NY
And as always, let’s stay connected. Please stop by my Facebook group and become a member of the Body Love Wellness Group! You can also follow me on Twitter.

Be sure to check out our new podcast!  Body Love Wellness Podcast — Find The Beauty

The other night, I found myself watching School of Rock with Jack Black.  I had seen it when it came out, but I had nearly forgotten about this little exchange between the plus-sized Tomika (played by Maryam Hassan) and Jack Black’s character, Dewey Finn.

Tomika: [explaining why she is nervous] They’ll laugh at me.
Dewey Finn: What? Why would they laugh at you?
Tomika: I dunno… because I’m fat.
Dewey Finn: Tomika… Ok, you’ve heard of Aretha Franklin right? She’s a big lady. But when she sings, she blows people’s minds! Everyone wants to party with Aretha! And, you know who else has a weight problem?
Tomika: Who?
Dewey Finn: Me. But when I get up there and start doing my thing, people worship me! Because I’m sexy, and chubby, man.

Freaking awesome.

So, here’s a snippet from “Locating Your Fabulous Fat Lineage” which I wrote last year as I was about to start performing with the now defunct musical improv group, MC Hammerstein.

Even though I do this work all the time, I still have body image slip-ups — moments when I feel self conscious or have a momentary desire to limit something I do b/c of how I look.

I recently was asked to join a musical improv comedy group. I love doing musical improv (we basically improvise a 40 minute musical every week) so I was really excited to join. But then, I had one of those moments of self doubt that can be so compounded for those of us who have or have had body image issues. I started thinking that I’d be the biggest woman in the group, and that just snowballed into a whole cascade of insecurities, like, “What if I’m the fattest woman in the group and my voice is off/I sing wrong notes/I’m not funny….”

So I did something that I often tell my clients to do. I found pictures of some of the greatest women comedians and singers and actors who were also fat and fabulous. Immediately, I thought of ones who are still around — Queen Latifah, Kim Coles, Camryn Manheim, Kathy Bates, Adele, Aretha Franklin. But then I decided to dig a little deeper, and I found some more outrageously gorgeous and talented and fat women. [All quoted info is from Wikipedia.]

Lillian “Diamond Lil” Russell — “One of the most famous actresses and singers of the late 19th century and early 20th century, known for her beauty and style, as well as for her voice and stage presence.”

Sophie Tucker — “Singer and comedian and one of the most popular entertainers in America during the first two-thirds of the 20th century…. She was billed as The Last of the Red Hot Mamas, as her hearty sexual appetite was a frequent subject of her songs, unusual for female performers of the era.”

Willie Mae (“Big Mama”) Thornton — “American Texas blues, rhythm and blues (R&B) singer, and songwriter. She was the first to record the hit song “Hound Dog” in 1952. The song was #1 on the Billboard R&B charts for seven weeks. The B-side was “They Call Me Big Mama,” and the single sold almost two million copies.”

Kate Smith — “American singer, best known for her rendition of Irving Berlin’s “God Bless America”. Smith had a radio, TV and recording career spanning five decades, reaching its most-remembered zenith in the 1940s.”

Mahalia Jackson — “American gospel singer, widely regarded as the best in the history of the genre, and is the first “Queen of Gospel Music”. With her powerful, distinct voice, Mahalia Jackson became one of the most influential gospel singers in the world. She recorded about 30 albums (mostly for Columbia Records) during her career, and her 45 rpm records included a dozen “golds” million-sellers.”

I’m not saying I sing like Mahalia or photograph like Diamond Lil, but doing this exercise helped remind me that the cultural moment in which we’re living is really just a blip. It helped me see myself as part of a lineage of beautiful, talented, outrageous and larger-than-life women who were beloved by audiences for decades.

If they can do that, I can make people laugh in a little theatre on 29th street, even if I go off key sometimes.

Try This: Find images and information about fabulously fat people who have done what you’re feeling discouraged about doing. (Trade magazines and web sites are good for this sort of thing when you’re looking for people who are not always in the public eye.) Do a collage, journal entry or blog entry about them. Paste your own picture in there for good measure, so that you can see yourself as part of this heritage. Let me know how it goes!