Golda Poretsky, HHC
www.bodylovewellness.com

Listen to the podcast here:

In the past, I always hated being a beginner.

Despite the fact that I love to learn new things, I never liked being really new at something.  I never liked feeling lost and confused.  I never liked the feeling that other people were catching on to something that I wasn’t getting.

When I decided to play bass at Ladies’ Rock Camp this summer, I knew it was a big leap.  I knew that in 2.5 days I was going to learn a bit of bass, form a band, make t-shirts, write a song with my band, and play at the Knitting Factory.  And that was pretty much all I knew.  I didn’t know anyone else at the camp.  I had never played bass before in my life (in fact, I had never played a stringed instrument ever).

But as I walked in to bass class on the first morning of camp, I decided one thing — for once in my life, I was going to embrace being a beginner.  I was going to embrace the power of having a beginner’s mind, of knowing nothing, and therefore being open to all possibilities. As Shunryu Suzuki said in Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind, “When we have no thought of achievement, no thought of self, we are true beginners. Then we can really learn something. The beginner’s mind is the mind of compassion. When our mind is compassionate, it is boundless.”

Beginnings (The Fool) From The Goddess Tarot Deck By Kris Waldherr

This same concept shows up in the tarot as well.  The first card of the deck, the zero card, is called the Fool.  But the fool isn’t truly foolish, he or she is just a newbie.  This card implies the beginning of a journey, within or without, the sacred nature of being open to possibilities, the primordial soup within each of us and the power of being a real beginner.

So why am I writing about being a fool and a beginner?  Because I’m hoping to illustrate (perhaps a little clumsily) the power of being new at something.

When we try something new, we often feel powerless.  We feel that we’re at the whim of our teachers, mentors, and counselors.  We feel pressure to get it right, to be prodigies, to not feel lost or admit that we’re lost.

But I think that being new at something can be really powerful.  The first time you wear a sleeveless top can be really powerful.  The first time that you ask a guy out can be really powerful.  The first time you pick up a bass and hear that sound ring out of your amp as it bounces around the room can be really, really powerful.  It can be really freaking scary too, but I agree with Shunryu Suzuki.  When your mind is compassionate, it is boundless.

So, my newbie friends, what are you going to be new at this week?

And if you want to try something really new, I’ll be making a big announcement about The Empress Club in just a few days.  It’s a group program designed to rocket you toward your food and body image desires.  We talked about it at the last teleclass . . . but there’s more to come.  So stay tuned!

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Golda Poretsky, H.H.C. is a certified holistic health counselor who specializes in transforming your relationship with food and your body. Go to http://www.bodylovewellness.com/stay-in-touch/ to sign up for her newsletter and get your free download — Golda’s Top Ten Tips For Divine Dining!

Have you picked up Golda’s book yet? Get your copy of Stop Dieting Now: 25 Reasons To Stop, 25 Ways To Heal today! Get it for your kindle too!

© 2010 Golda Poretsky. All rights reserved.

Golda Poretsky, HHC
www.bodylovewellness.com

I’m posting an oldie but goodie again this week, but it may be new to you!

And, by the way, there’s still time to join me for my teleclass, which was rescheduled to Tuesday due to technical difficulties — How To Feel Good In Your Skin — Free 60 Minute Teleclass And Group Meditation. Just click here to register!

Listen to the podcast here:

I know you’re in shock that I’m actually a proponent of a diet, so I’ll give you a moment to recover. Okay. Are you ready?

Introducing . . .

The Media Diet.

It’s the only diet that I would ever encourage my clients to go on.

With the Media Diet you will:

• Lose your self doubt about your appearance
• Reach your goal of liking yourself and the way you look
• Melt away your resistance to feeling good about yourself right now
• Maintain your belief in your own attractiveness

GUARANTEED!

Here’s how you do it:

For the next week, as much as possible, limit your exposure to images of:

1) Ultra thin women and men
2) Advertising of diets and diet foods

Both components of the media diet are important. In a study published in 2002, scientists reported that the introduction of television in Fiji completely changed women’s views of their bodies. Prior to the introduction of television, most Fijian women were satisfied with the way they looked no matter what their sizes. Less than a year after television became available, at least 77% of women reported dissatisfaction with their bodies and a desire to lose weight. In fact, there were no reported cases of anorexia or bulimia in Fiji until television was introduced! Other studies have shown that at least 24% of women on television are actually underweight by BMI standards – which means that many are starving themselves to fit the required norm. Television sets us up for body hatred and a desire to achieve body weights that even mainstream doctors deem too thin. Avoid it!

Additionally, Americans spend approximately $60 billion a year on diets and diet products. This is an incredible statistic considering all of the problems with diets including the fact that at least 90% of dieters gain all of the weight they lose back – plus a few extra pounds – within 3-5 years.

So let’s send a message to television producers and advertisers that we’re not interested in seeing ultra thin actors and ads for diet products. And, more importantly, let’s change what we look at every day so that our eyes are not deceived into thinking that underweight is an ideal.

While on the Media Diet, use your “willpower” to avoid the following:

1) Typical fashion magazines (it’s tempting to peek in the line at the grocery store but distract your attention with something else)
2) Internet fashion sites (except as described below)
3) Soap operas
4) Other daytime television (this is the time when diet ads are most prevalent)
5) Primetime sitcoms
6) Newspaper ads

Now, there is no need to starve for media on the Media Diet. Take this time on the Media Diet to replenish your system with healthy alternatives:

1) Check out some really fun online plus size magazines, like Plus Model Magazine, Venus Diva Magazine and BBW Magazine.
2) Check out plus size fashion groups, like Fatshionista and the livejournal Fatshionista community. Enjoy all the pictures of fabulous fat women of all shapes and sizes dressing up in their favorite clothes. Post your own too. And for more gorgeous photographs, check out Adipositivity.
3) Read great Fat Acceptance blogs.
4) Check out this  youtube video showing the process of putting a model’s image on a billboard. You won’t believe all of the airbrushing!
5) Watch shows starring fabulous plus sized women and men, like Huge on ABC Family.
6) Take a little field trip to Brooklyn (if you’re in the area) and check out stores like Re/Dress NYC 109 Boerum Place, Brooklyn, NY 11201 and Lee Lee’s Valise, 368 Court St Brooklyn, NY 11231. Seek out size positive stores in your area.
7) Spend some time perusing all the great articles and blogs on More Of Me To Love including mine!

I guarantee that after a week spent on the Media Diet, you will look and feel better about yourself! Let us know how it goes!

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Golda Poretsky, H.H.C. is a certified holistic health counselor who specializes in transforming your relationship with food and your body. Go to http://www.bodylovewellness.com/stay-in-touch/ to sign up for her newsletter and get your free download — Golda’s Top Ten Tips For Divine Dining!

Have you picked up Golda’s book yet? Get your copy of Stop Dieting Now: 25 Reasons To Stop, 25 Ways To Heal today!  Get it for your kindle too!

© 2010 Golda Poretsky. All rights reserved.

Golda Poretsky, HHC
www.bodylovewellness.com

Due to a very full weekend at the Ladies Rock Camp, I’ve decided to repost this Body Love Wellness favorite.

And, by the way, there’s still time to join me for my teleclass this Thursday — How To Feel Good In Your Skin — Free 60 Minute Teleclass And Group Meditation. Just click here to register!

Listen to the podcast here:

Since I find myself spouting heresies every week at the Body Love Wellness Blog, I want to give you one more to chew on.

You Are Not Broken.

I say this because you are not an agglomeration of problems to be fixed and you are not in a race to see how fast you can fix them. I say this because you are really okay, right here and now.

I know that most of us go through our day connecting with what we see as our chronic problems. For many of you reading this blog, you have lived your life under the the spectre of your “weight problem”. Your “weight problem” colors everything you do, the way you interact with the world, the products you buy, the way you expect your body to function, the way you choose everything from your clothes to your lovers. And you think if you could just fix the weight problem, if you could just solve for x, everything else would fall into place, and you and your life would no longer be broken.

For others it’s not a weight problem. It’s some other problem that we’ve identified as being ours. It could be anything from infertility to cancer to crow’s feet. We all have certain problems that we magnify and see as the source of further problems.

We get lots of support in seeing our problems as the focus of our lives. Whether it’s an advertisment on television or a doctor’s advice, we’re constantly told that we need to get our problems under control, fix them, mitigate them, etc. We get the message that it’s our duty to elminate the problem so that we can then be happy and make everyone else happy. We understand that we shouldn’t rest until the problem is appropriately counteracted.

When we live our lives constantly focused on problems, we end up identifying with the problems themselves. As a result, we make poor choices and miss out on much of the good of life. (I can feel the chronic dieters out there nodding their heads as they read this.)

Only people who see themselves as having a weight problem would ever sign up for a diet program. Only a person who saw their weight problem as a major issue that had to get solved would sign up for getting weighed in at a meeting every week, eating prepackaged food for three meals a day, drinking diet shakes, starving themselves, making themselves vomit, etc. etc. If you don’t think you have a weight problem, you don’t do those things to yourself.

In other words, if you don’t see yourself as having a weight problem, you might actually be able to eat relatively healthfully, regardless of your size. You would be able to hear that voice inside your body that says, “I would like to eat that” or “I would not like to eat that” or “I’m hungry” or “I’m full.” You might also be able to hear your intuition more when it tells you things like, “I’d like to go back to school” or “I’d like to break up with my boyfriend” or “yoga is fun” or whatever your particular consciousness most desires. When you’re stuck in the problem, it’s hard to hear anything other than “I need to get this fixed right now in order to be happy.”

So, I will write it again. You are not broken. You are not a problem to be solved. Solving your “problem”, whatever you perceive your problem or problems to be, is not the key to happiness.

This week, I want you to identify whatever you think your big problem is. (For most of you, you’ll know it instantly.) Live this week as if your big problem was not a problem. Live as if it were already solved or wasn’t a problem at all. Notice what feels different. Notice if you feel better. As always, let us know how it goes in the comments below.

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Golda Poretsky, H.H.C. is a certified holistic health counselor who specializes in transforming your relationship with food and your body. Go to http://www.bodylovewellness.com/stay-in-touch/ to sign up for her newsletter and get your free download — Golda’s Top Ten Tips For Divine Dining!

Have you picked up Golda’s book yet? Get your copy of Stop Dieting Now: 25 Reasons To Stop, 25 Ways To Heal today!

© 2010 Golda Poretsky. All rights reserved.

by Golda Poretsky, H.H.C.
www.bodylovewellness.com

Listen to the podcast of this post here:

So, I try not to get too political in these posts, but I’ve noticed a particular turn of phrase that conservatives keep using to defend the Bush tax cuts.  They say the following:

“Everyone knows that you don’t raise tax cuts during a recession.”

It’s a nasty and brilliant little trick.  Because (a) everyone doesn’t know or certainly agree that raising taxes (particularly on the top 2% of earners) during a recession is a bad idea and (b) it’s an insidious way of saying that anyone who doesn’t know this or disagrees with it is not very smart.  In other words, statements that start with “everyone knows” have a veneer of truth and give you the feeling that you’re stupid for trying to think other wise.

It’s just the kind of nasty and brilliant trick that your inner critic loves to use.

Your inner critic is that voice that tells you, “No, don’t wear that, you’ll look stupid,” or “Why bother exercising if you’re still going to be fat?” or “How could you possibly think that so-and-so likes you?”  It’s that voice that keeps you from moving forward, making changes, and moving beyond what you’re accustomed to.  It gets louder at certain times in your life, and quieter at others, but it often strikes at those moments when you’re moving beyond your comfort zone and trying something new.

For example, I’ve recently got into practicing yoga again, thanks to Abby Lentz’s wonderful DVD’s.  For nearly a week, I did the full hour Heavyweight Yoga 2 DVD every single day.  I hadn’t planned on keeping to that schedule, I just woke up every day and really wanted to practice yoga.  Around the 6th day, I had a particularly busy day, and I didn’t get to the DVD until pretty late at night.  I got through the stretching portion, which lasts about 20 minutes, and then decided that I had had enough for the night.  As I was resting for a moment on the mat, my inner critic voice piped up loud and clear, “You know that you’ve totally screwed up your schedule, right?” it said.  “You were on a roll and now that you think you can just do half the DVD, you’re never going to do the full DVD again.  You’re probably never going to use the DVD again at all.”  I tried to just acknowledge the voice and let it go, but it didn’t stop.  “You really screwed up,” it said.  “You can’t do 40 more minutes of yoga?  It’s not even a really hard yoga DVD.  It barely even counts as exercise.”

I know!  It was awful.  I had been feeling so good from all the yoga, I was ready to go to sleep, and here I was berating myself instead of congratulating myself on listening to what my body wanted by practicing yoga daily and then taking it easy when I was really tired.

But that’s the problem with your inner critic.  It knows just what to say to you to keep you in line, it knows how to shame you into keeping with the status quo, and it makes you feel wrong about your choices, actions and desires.  As a result, your inner critic can prevent you from taking important risks, making positive changes, and feeling good about all that you do.

But there are ways to deal with your inner critic.  So here are three tips to get you started!

1) Acknowledge It — Spend some time keeping a journal of what your inner critic tells you.  What does it say to you?  When does it get particularly loud?  What triggers it?  Does it sound like anyone you know?  After doing this for at least a week, let it go.  You’ve heard it, acknowledged it, and you’ve learned some of your triggers.  You don’t have to fear it because you’ve already heard it all.

2) Remind Yourself That Your Inner Critic Isn’t Always Right – Very often, when we start making changes in our life and having more positive thoughts about ourselves, that inner critic will come in and shut the process down.  For example, if you’re practicing the affirmation “I’m beautiful,” that negative voice may come in even louder and say things like, “That’s a joke!  Affirmations are stupid! You’re okay at the most, but definitely not beautiful.”  When this happens, we usually find ourselves agreeing with our inner critic.    But your inner critic isn’t right, it’s just been with you longer.  It’s a voice and an opinion that you’re used to.  So stop believing that the negative voice is telling the truth.  It’s not.  It’s just keeping you in your place.

3) Affirm, Affirm, Affirm –  Take some of your most negative thoughts and turn them around into affirmations.  For more help with working with and creating affirmations, check out this post.

We’ll be talking about dealing with your inner critic and more in my latest FREE Teleclass — How To Feel Good In Your Skin (coming up August 19th) ! For details and to register, click here. Can’t wait to “see” you there!

P.S.  I tried SO HARD to find an appropriate picture for this post.  So instead, I’m sharing with you the song “Downpressor Man” by Peter Tosh.  It’s not really about your inner critic (obviously) but it may have your inner critic on the run…

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Golda Poretsky, H.H.C. is a certified holistic health counselor who specializes in transforming your relationship with food and your body. Go to http://www.bodylovewellness.com/stay-in-touch/ to sign up for her newsletter and get your free download — Golda’s Top Ten Tips For Divine Dining!

Have you picked up Golda’s book yet? Get your copy of Stop Dieting Now: 25 Reasons To Stop, 25 Ways To Heal today!

© 2010 Golda Poretsky. All rights reserved.

I’m pleased to announce that my book, Stop Dieting Now: 25 Reasons To Stop, 25 Ways To Heal is now available at online retailers in the US, Canada, and the UK!

From an early age, our culture tells us that losing weight and dieting is the key to having it all.  Whether it’s better health, a better body, or a better lover, we all learn that dieting will get us what we want faster than anything else.

Though we all want this to be true, if you’re like most dieters, then you know that dieting does not equal happiness.  Not only that, dieting can result in lots of unintended effects, like weight gain, disordered eating, and low self esteem, just to name a few.

But there is a way out.  In this breakthrough book, I show you why diets don’t work and how you can break free from dieting patterns that are holding you back from happiness.

When you read Stop Dieting Now!, you will come away with breakthrough insights and practical actions that you can take immediately to change your relationship with food and your body.  Here are just a few things that you will learn from this book:

• Why you can’t stick to diets (hint: it’s not about willpower).
• Simple techniques for letting go of food-related guilt and shame.
• Why you always seem to gain back the weight you lose from dieting.
• How old diet rules and habits can negatively interfere with your food choices, long after you stop dieting.
• How to avoid passing on dieting behaviors to your kids.
• The dangers behind “weighting” to be thinner before you make changes in your life.
• Real tools that support you in making peace with your body.
• And so much more . . .

Where to buy:

• Goodreads (If you’re a member, please mark it as to-read!)
• Amazon US
• Amazon Canada
• Amazon UK
• Barnes & Noble
• AbeBooks
• IndieBound

Let me know when you get it!

And stay tuned for info on my upcoming book signing at Re/Dress NYC!