Golda Poretsky, HHC
www.bodylovewellness.com

Listen to the podcast here:

In the past, I always hated being a beginner.

Despite the fact that I love to learn new things, I never liked being really new at something.  I never liked feeling lost and confused.  I never liked the feeling that other people were catching on to something that I wasn’t getting.

When I decided to play bass at Ladies’ Rock Camp this summer, I knew it was a big leap.  I knew that in 2.5 days I was going to learn a bit of bass, form a band, make t-shirts, write a song with my band, and play at the Knitting Factory.  And that was pretty much all I knew.  I didn’t know anyone else at the camp.  I had never played bass before in my life (in fact, I had never played a stringed instrument ever).

But as I walked in to bass class on the first morning of camp, I decided one thing — for once in my life, I was going to embrace being a beginner.  I was going to embrace the power of having a beginner’s mind, of knowing nothing, and therefore being open to all possibilities. As Shunryu Suzuki said in Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind, “When we have no thought of achievement, no thought of self, we are true beginners. Then we can really learn something. The beginner’s mind is the mind of compassion. When our mind is compassionate, it is boundless.”

Beginnings (The Fool) From The Goddess Tarot Deck By Kris Waldherr

This same concept shows up in the tarot as well.  The first card of the deck, the zero card, is called the Fool.  But the fool isn’t truly foolish, he or she is just a newbie.  This card implies the beginning of a journey, within or without, the sacred nature of being open to possibilities, the primordial soup within each of us and the power of being a real beginner.

So why am I writing about being a fool and a beginner?  Because I’m hoping to illustrate (perhaps a little clumsily) the power of being new at something.

When we try something new, we often feel powerless.  We feel that we’re at the whim of our teachers, mentors, and counselors.  We feel pressure to get it right, to be prodigies, to not feel lost or admit that we’re lost.

But I think that being new at something can be really powerful.  The first time you wear a sleeveless top can be really powerful.  The first time that you ask a guy out can be really powerful.  The first time you pick up a bass and hear that sound ring out of your amp as it bounces around the room can be really, really powerful.  It can be really freaking scary too, but I agree with Shunryu Suzuki.  When your mind is compassionate, it is boundless.

So, my newbie friends, what are you going to be new at this week?

And if you want to try something really new, I’ll be making a big announcement about The Empress Club in just a few days.  It’s a group program designed to rocket you toward your food and body image desires.  We talked about it at the last teleclass . . . but there’s more to come.  So stay tuned!

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Golda Poretsky, H.H.C. is a certified holistic health counselor who specializes in transforming your relationship with food and your body. Go to http://www.bodylovewellness.com/stay-in-touch/ to sign up for her newsletter and get your free download — Golda’s Top Ten Tips For Divine Dining!

Have you picked up Golda’s book yet? Get your copy of Stop Dieting Now: 25 Reasons To Stop, 25 Ways To Heal today! Get it for your kindle too!

© 2010 Golda Poretsky. All rights reserved.

by Golda Poretsky, H.H.C.
www.bodylovewellness.com

Listen to the podcast of this post here:

So, I try not to get too political in these posts, but I’ve noticed a particular turn of phrase that conservatives keep using to defend the Bush tax cuts.  They say the following:

“Everyone knows that you don’t raise tax cuts during a recession.”

It’s a nasty and brilliant little trick.  Because (a) everyone doesn’t know or certainly agree that raising taxes (particularly on the top 2% of earners) during a recession is a bad idea and (b) it’s an insidious way of saying that anyone who doesn’t know this or disagrees with it is not very smart.  In other words, statements that start with “everyone knows” have a veneer of truth and give you the feeling that you’re stupid for trying to think other wise.

It’s just the kind of nasty and brilliant trick that your inner critic loves to use.

Your inner critic is that voice that tells you, “No, don’t wear that, you’ll look stupid,” or “Why bother exercising if you’re still going to be fat?” or “How could you possibly think that so-and-so likes you?”  It’s that voice that keeps you from moving forward, making changes, and moving beyond what you’re accustomed to.  It gets louder at certain times in your life, and quieter at others, but it often strikes at those moments when you’re moving beyond your comfort zone and trying something new.

For example, I’ve recently got into practicing yoga again, thanks to Abby Lentz’s wonderful DVD’s.  For nearly a week, I did the full hour Heavyweight Yoga 2 DVD every single day.  I hadn’t planned on keeping to that schedule, I just woke up every day and really wanted to practice yoga.  Around the 6th day, I had a particularly busy day, and I didn’t get to the DVD until pretty late at night.  I got through the stretching portion, which lasts about 20 minutes, and then decided that I had had enough for the night.  As I was resting for a moment on the mat, my inner critic voice piped up loud and clear, “You know that you’ve totally screwed up your schedule, right?” it said.  “You were on a roll and now that you think you can just do half the DVD, you’re never going to do the full DVD again.  You’re probably never going to use the DVD again at all.”  I tried to just acknowledge the voice and let it go, but it didn’t stop.  “You really screwed up,” it said.  “You can’t do 40 more minutes of yoga?  It’s not even a really hard yoga DVD.  It barely even counts as exercise.”

I know!  It was awful.  I had been feeling so good from all the yoga, I was ready to go to sleep, and here I was berating myself instead of congratulating myself on listening to what my body wanted by practicing yoga daily and then taking it easy when I was really tired.

But that’s the problem with your inner critic.  It knows just what to say to you to keep you in line, it knows how to shame you into keeping with the status quo, and it makes you feel wrong about your choices, actions and desires.  As a result, your inner critic can prevent you from taking important risks, making positive changes, and feeling good about all that you do.

But there are ways to deal with your inner critic.  So here are three tips to get you started!

1) Acknowledge It — Spend some time keeping a journal of what your inner critic tells you.  What does it say to you?  When does it get particularly loud?  What triggers it?  Does it sound like anyone you know?  After doing this for at least a week, let it go.  You’ve heard it, acknowledged it, and you’ve learned some of your triggers.  You don’t have to fear it because you’ve already heard it all.

2) Remind Yourself That Your Inner Critic Isn’t Always Right – Very often, when we start making changes in our life and having more positive thoughts about ourselves, that inner critic will come in and shut the process down.  For example, if you’re practicing the affirmation “I’m beautiful,” that negative voice may come in even louder and say things like, “That’s a joke!  Affirmations are stupid! You’re okay at the most, but definitely not beautiful.”  When this happens, we usually find ourselves agreeing with our inner critic.    But your inner critic isn’t right, it’s just been with you longer.  It’s a voice and an opinion that you’re used to.  So stop believing that the negative voice is telling the truth.  It’s not.  It’s just keeping you in your place.

3) Affirm, Affirm, Affirm –  Take some of your most negative thoughts and turn them around into affirmations.  For more help with working with and creating affirmations, check out this post.

We’ll be talking about dealing with your inner critic and more in my latest FREE Teleclass — How To Feel Good In Your Skin (coming up August 19th) ! For details and to register, click here. Can’t wait to “see” you there!

P.S.  I tried SO HARD to find an appropriate picture for this post.  So instead, I’m sharing with you the song “Downpressor Man” by Peter Tosh.  It’s not really about your inner critic (obviously) but it may have your inner critic on the run…

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Golda Poretsky, H.H.C. is a certified holistic health counselor who specializes in transforming your relationship with food and your body. Go to http://www.bodylovewellness.com/stay-in-touch/ to sign up for her newsletter and get your free download — Golda’s Top Ten Tips For Divine Dining!

Have you picked up Golda’s book yet? Get your copy of Stop Dieting Now: 25 Reasons To Stop, 25 Ways To Heal today!

© 2010 Golda Poretsky. All rights reserved.

I’m pleased to announce that my book, Stop Dieting Now: 25 Reasons To Stop, 25 Ways To Heal is now available at online retailers in the US, Canada, and the UK!

From an early age, our culture tells us that losing weight and dieting is the key to having it all.  Whether it’s better health, a better body, or a better lover, we all learn that dieting will get us what we want faster than anything else.

Though we all want this to be true, if you’re like most dieters, then you know that dieting does not equal happiness.  Not only that, dieting can result in lots of unintended effects, like weight gain, disordered eating, and low self esteem, just to name a few.

But there is a way out.  In this breakthrough book, I show you why diets don’t work and how you can break free from dieting patterns that are holding you back from happiness.

When you read Stop Dieting Now!, you will come away with breakthrough insights and practical actions that you can take immediately to change your relationship with food and your body.  Here are just a few things that you will learn from this book:

• Why you can’t stick to diets (hint: it’s not about willpower).
• Simple techniques for letting go of food-related guilt and shame.
• Why you always seem to gain back the weight you lose from dieting.
• How old diet rules and habits can negatively interfere with your food choices, long after you stop dieting.
• How to avoid passing on dieting behaviors to your kids.
• The dangers behind “weighting” to be thinner before you make changes in your life.
• Real tools that support you in making peace with your body.
• And so much more . . .

Where to buy:

• Goodreads (If you’re a member, please mark it as to-read!)
• Amazon US
• Amazon Canada
• Amazon UK
• Barnes & Noble
• AbeBooks
• IndieBound

Let me know when you get it!

And stay tuned for info on my upcoming book signing at Re/Dress NYC!

by Golda Poretsky, H.H.C.
www.bodylovewellness.com

Listen to the podcast of this post here:

While flitting around on the internet, I came across a gossip column post that started like this:

“Jennifer Aniston has a new man in her life.  The unlucky in love actress, 41, is reportedly dating 30 Rock actor Jason Sudeikis.”

As I read this, I thought, is she unlucky in love or really fricking lucky in love?

It must be pretty terrible to lose your partner to someone else, particularly with a breakup as public as hers and Brad Pitt’s.  That being said, since back in the mid-90′s, she’s been linked to some really attractive and talented guys, from comic actors like Vince Vaughn, Paul Rudd and Jason Sudeikis, to actors known for their handsomeness, like Brad Pitt and Gerard Butler, to famous musicians like Adam Duritz of the Counting Crows.

I can’t help but think that if Jennifer Aniston were a man, the stories we would hear about her would be more akin to what we hear about Brad Pitt’s buddy, George Clooney.  Like Ms. Aniston, he’s a rich, successful movie star who dates a lot.  Unlike Ms. Aniston, no one would ever think that he’s been “unlucky-in-love.”

Seriously, I think  many of you reading this would love to be as “unlucky-in-love” as Jennifer Aniston.

That’s the amazing thing about storytelling.  The way the storyteller decides to characterize an event or a series of events is often more important than the event itself.  The gossip mags can tell you she’s been unlucky in love, or that she’s a woman who seems to effortlessly become involved with interesting, attractive men.  Perhaps the former story sells more copies, but I’d so much rather read the latter.

The same thing applies to your own life.  Most of us have been through troubling times, difficult experiences, bad relationships, illnesses, sadness, grief.  But since you’re reading this post you’re still alive to tell about it.  The question is, what story do you want to tell?

I’m not saying that you should deny the difficult events of your life.  But the fact that you survived is also a wonderful story to tell.  And that story, the story of the way you came through a difficult situation, found resources within yourself or outside of yourself, gleaned from that experience what you wanted and what you didn’t want going forward — that is a story that can inspire you and others to heal and grow.

So I’ll ask you again, what story of your life do you want to tell?  What past experiences do you want to heal and grow from by telling a new story where you acknowledge the awful truth and your amazing capacity to survive?  What parts of your story that have been weighed down by judgments like “unlucky in love” do you want to rewrite in order to acknowledge the wholeness of your choices and experiences?

If you’ve got a story to retell, I invite you to do so in the comments section below. I can’t wait to hear it!

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Only 3 days until my next FREE teleclass –How To Feel Sexy At Any Size.   Click to register!

Golda Poretsky, H.H.C. is a certified holistic health counselor who specializes in transforming your relationship with food and your body. Go to http://www.bodylovewellness.com/stay-in-touch/ to sign up for her newsletter and get your free download — Golda’s Top Ten Tips For Divine Dining!

© 2010 Golda Poretsky All rights reserved.

Do you look in the mirror and dislike what you see, or avoid the mirror as much as possible? Do you find yourself saying things like “I hate my thighs, ass or belly”? Are you waiting to lose weight before you do what you really want?

Most women are accustomed to living with the pain and shame of body hatred. And yet, that body hatred causes a ripple effect of problems, from a general feeling of being unfulfilled to intense shame and depression.

In this interview, Golda Poretsky, H.H.C. (founder of Body Love Wellness and author of Stop Dieting Now: 25 Reasons To Stop, 25 Ways To Heal, due out in July) will share her top techniques for feeling sexy and confident no matter what your size — the same ones she shares with her private coaching clients.

You’ll walk away from this call with surprisingly powerful, yet simple techniques for feeling great in your skin.

Here’s what you’ll learn:

• Easy ways to turn down the volume on your inner critic.
• How to reconnect body and mind in a pleasurable way.
• The top mistake that women make when they’re trying to feel better about themselves.
• An amazingly simple technique that will have you loving parts of your body that you’ve hated for years.
• How loving your body attracts more love from those around you.

Whether hating your body is a new problem for you or you’ve been doing it as long as you can remember, you’ll get at least 3 BIG insights into how to heal from body hatred that you’ll be able to use immediately to feel better at more at ease in your body.

This interview will be conducted by Goddess Oceana, expert empowerment coach, tantric shamaness, and international sexuality educator and leader.

Just enter your info in the boxes below, and you’ll receive the complete call details via email.