Sometimes I find fatshion blogs to be fun and inspirational.
And sometimes, well, not.
I often recommend that clients look at more body positive blogs, especially ones with images of fat people. It’s a way to recalibrate your brain so that fatter bodies seem more like what they are – normal.
(I’m not a big fan of the idea of normal, but often realizing that your body is normal rather than gross, weird, and abnormal is an important step in your body love journey.)
After practicing serious, radical body love for about 7 years now, I rarely see an image that makes me feel bad about my body. But loving your body is often like peeling an onion, and though I’ve peeled away nearly all of the layers of body hate, I noticed that there’s a little, annoying part of the onion left. Maybe it’s only 1% or less of that onion, but it’s there.
I realized that I have a weird issue with my body shape, and that fatshion blogs seem to exacerbate it every once in a while.
I’ve mentioned this before, but I have a sort of “upside down” triangle shaped body. My hips and waist are essentially the same size. This makes it really hard to keep my pants from falling down (seriously, this is no fun). When I wear tights or leggings, I have to tuck them under my bra in order to keep them on. When I try on pants, if the waist fits, there is literally a foot or more of material in the hips and thighs. The size that would make sense for my thighs is about 6 sizes smaller than the size I wear in tops. Most dresses that fit my top half have feet of extra material in the bottom half. I’ve tried getting my clothes tailored, but the cost ends up being exorbitant because I want to tailor pretty much everything.
My body has been like this forever, so I don’t think about it much and I’m used to working around it. But every once in a while it really gets to me.
I even tried to start my own fatshion blog, Fatshionable Apples, but I haven’t done much with it.
Fatshion blogs sometimes exacerbate my annoyance, because although the wonderful folks who run these blogs look way more like me than magazine models, they still don’t seem to have the challenges I have with clothes.
I don’t know what the answer to this is, but I thought I’d share it because I can’t be the only one!
Plus, I think it’s good to be transparent with you all. I love my body, don’t denigrate it, don’t hate it (anymore) but I still run into these little, uncomfortable parts of the onion (there’s that metaphor!) now and again.
Do you have similar body shape issues or issues with fatshion blogs? If so, let’s chat about it in the comments section below!
Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. To learn more about Golda and her work, click here.
Golda, thank you for this post. I struggle with similar issues. My body doesn’t look like those I predominantly see in fatshion blogs, even if those are closer to my size. I have a disproportionately large belly for the rest of my body, which means that no matter what I wear, my belly is big, prominent and right there. I’m not even an apple shape, I’m kind of a 24 month pregnant with triplets shape. While I don’t feel that my shape makes me less than anyone else, it is so frustrating wanting to have fabulous clothes and create a look with a body that I never see represented anywhere.
This is why I try, despite a lack of resources, to post as many selfies as possible. We need to see loads of randomly shaped bodies of all kinds and realise that the curvy hourglass is not as common as we would think.
And I am VERY select in which fatshion blogs I follow. I love the quirky, the mega fatty, the non-conforming… they help rather than hinder.
I ABSOLUTELY struggle with this. For some reason, I’m able to look at many body positive fashion blogs and see only the specific ways that the body of the blogger is different from (i.e.: more beautiful) than mine. I see that her waist is more defined or her arms aren’t as large or her jawline is more defined and I’m suddenly comparing myself to the model as opposed to finding inspiration from her work on the internet. So I take a step back and remind myself that THIS body is beautiful exactly as it is. That it is perfect this size because this is exactly the size I am. Today. It’s not always easy, but we’re all onions, I suppose :)
I feel the same way because the plus size clothes tend to be designed for pear shaped women and my body type which is changing to more of a larger stomach the closer I get to menopause. I also work around it but feel at times short changed!
I’m an inverted triangle too, and several sizes smaller on bottom than top. I always end up with swim separates. Fortunately for me, one of my friends is opposite and she tells me when pants don’t have enough hip space for her and I tell her when they have too much for me. That takes some of the frustration out for me. She helps me find my target brands and styles.
It’s good to have a friend like that!
I feel the same way because the plus size clothes tend to be designed for pear shaped women and my body type which is changing to more of a larger stomach the closer I get to menopause. I also work around it but feel at times short changed!
I’m 5’1 and a 1/2 and my wrists and ankles are slim I but pretty much go out to the widest point at my belly and boobs from every direction. If anyone is an apple, I am! I like looking at the tumblrs and blogs and it does help, though I find the VBL one most challenging because I have most trouble with loving my tummy. I pretty much wear a big t-shirt (not tucked in!) and tacky daks every day, mostly out of practicality as am rural with dogs, chickens, lots of trees to plant and care for, and a vegie garden. If we go out it is jeans or black pants and some sort of top that I didn’t hate when I went to try things on. Would love to be more colourful and floaty in an arty way but with my height and roundness it is hard to do it and not look like an overdecorated cake, or perhaps a very colourful bantam hen. :) I am not a fatshionista (and never was fat or thin) though I love to see how other fat people can look so gorgeous and would love to know how best to dress up my body type on the rare times when i need to. I did hope your blog would take off because I’d have loved to see ways to dress that would suit my body type best, though I do have a butt and thighs, just smaller than my tum and boobs. :)
There is really so much variety in our shapes. I love hearing from you too. I find the VBL posts both challenging and inspiring. I think the whole idea of VBL is fabulous.
YES. I so understand, my body shape is the same way. I’m wide in the shoulders and rib cage, and then my waist and hips are the same size and I have no butt, basically. Belts are often necessary to hold my pants up, because my hips and butt are not up to the job. I *hate* tight waistbands that squash my waist, but pants that fit my waist tend to be huge in the thighs. I’ve had some success with maternity pants, honestly, because at least they have some give in the waist and don’t assume that the size of my waist is smaller proportionally than my thighs.
I’ve had some success with maternity pants too, though I kind of hate the panels! I have these skorts that have elastic in the waist and belt loops and I totally need both. Like you, I need give in the waist and a belt! I won’t buy anything without belt loops unless I can tuck it under my bra.
I appreciate your take on this subject and we all have something that society may consider a flaw…but you know what, that makes me more determined to love my body even more. As far as fashion risks, I am learning to take them and determined to make it work for my body!!! Like you, no body shaming here! I celebrate the women who have peeled their onions 100% while I cheer myself on. It’s so liberating!!!!!
I feel the same way because the plus size clothes tend to be designed for pear shaped women and my body type which is changing to more of a larger stomach the closer I get to menopause. I also work around it but feel at times short changed!
Just come up with your own style … what works for them may not necessarily work for you.