Sometimes I find fatshion blogs to be fun and inspirational.
And sometimes, well, not.
I often recommend that clients look at more body positive blogs, especially ones with images of fat people. It’s a way to recalibrate your brain so that fatter bodies seem more like what they are – normal.
(I’m not a big fan of the idea of normal, but often realizing that your body is normal rather than gross, weird, and abnormal is an important step in your body love journey.)
After practicing serious, radical body love for about 7 years now, I rarely see an image that makes me feel bad about my body. But loving your body is often like peeling an onion, and though I’ve peeled away nearly all of the layers of body hate, I noticed that there’s a little, annoying part of the onion left. Maybe it’s only 1% or less of that onion, but it’s there.
I realized that I have a weird issue with my body shape, and that fatshion blogs seem to exacerbate it every once in a while.
I’ve mentioned this before, but I have a sort of “upside down” triangle shaped body. My hips and waist are essentially the same size. This makes it really hard to keep my pants from falling down (seriously, this is no fun). When I wear tights or leggings, I have to tuck them under my bra in order to keep them on. When I try on pants, if the waist fits, there is literally a foot or more of material in the hips and thighs. The size that would make sense for my thighs is about 6 sizes smaller than the size I wear in tops. Most dresses that fit my top half have feet of extra material in the bottom half. I’ve tried getting my clothes tailored, but the cost ends up being exorbitant because I want to tailor pretty much everything.
My body has been like this forever, so I don’t think about it much and I’m used to working around it. But every once in a while it really gets to me.
I even tried to start my own fatshion blog, Fatshionable Apples, but I haven’t done much with it.
Fatshion blogs sometimes exacerbate my annoyance, because although the wonderful folks who run these blogs look way more like me than magazine models, they still don’t seem to have the challenges I have with clothes.
I don’t know what the answer to this is, but I thought I’d share it because I can’t be the only one!
Plus, I think it’s good to be transparent with you all. I love my body, don’t denigrate it, don’t hate it (anymore) but I still run into these little, uncomfortable parts of the onion (there’s that metaphor!) now and again.
Do you have similar body shape issues or issues with fatshion blogs? If so, let’s chat about it in the comments section below!
Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. To learn more about Golda and her work, click here.
This is a struggle I have. I have to buy jeans that are super tight in the waist for them not to fall off and to fit my butt and hips. I feel like a sausage pinched off in the middle. I have huge arms, wide shoulders, a long torso, and little boobs, which makes fitting the top half hard too. When I was pregnant with my son I rejoiced at the thought of gaining some hip action, which never happened. I have often fantasized about being able to rearrange my fat so as to be more “proportional.” I have come a long way in accepting my body and embracing who I am. I can identify with feeling a little sub par when looking at all the lovely fatshionistas and it made me feel a bit petty. It’s comforting to know that I’m not the only one.
I feel the same way because the plus size clothes tend to be designed for pear shaped women and my body type which is changing to more of a larger stomach the closer I get to menopause. I also work around it but feel at times short changed!
THANK YOU! I have very muscular legs, pretty chunky arms, and, to quote Pulp Fiction, “a perfect pot.” I look like I am at least 6 months pregnant. I get asked when I am due all. the. time. Shirts have to be really big to hang low enough to cover my stomach, and I have to be careful of certain dresses because they look like maternity clothes. I see women with those hourglass figures and think how I would look so much better with my same amount of fat just shifted a bit. Ha! But then I have to remember that it’s still part of me and I still love it. It’s tough though. I don’t see myself in super model spreads or most fatspo sites, so I have to make due with seeing myself in the mirror and loving it. Most of the time. :)
Often in the context of yet another round of returning ill-fitting clothes, I’ve made repeated requests of Making It Big that they build some of their clothes for apples instead of pears.
Perhaps if more of us apples speak up, they’ll start to listen?
I do NOT under any circumstances want to discourage makers of fat ladies’ clothing, especially the ones that make quality items, and use real-sized models. I just want them to realize that not all fatties have the same or even similar shape.
Golda, I have pretty much the same body shape. It is so very frustrating. I’ve found that Avenue has clothing that is shaped more like my body and that helps with pants and skirts. It helped me to notice that I was not alone it finding my body shape annoying sometimes and in fact many of my thin friends have similar issues with their clothing. I began to see this issue as a flaw with the fashion industry which is created to meet the needs of only a section of out society. It is hard and very expensive to create clothes for so many body shapes so many brands take short cuts or just provide clothing for a subset of humans. That made me feel better. Thanks for sharing your wonderful blog. You are definitely not alone.
p.s. sorry for my typos I was on my mobile…
I totally hear you. I’m fairly hourglass, but I’m a big hourglass. And I feel like I’m fashion challenged. I see all these great blogs with fabulous looking ladies, and when I try to replicate it at home or in the store – I’m just baffled. Sometimes I get it SPOT ON, but others… I’m a hot mess.
I used to love going to vive le femme in Chicago because Stephanie (the owner) would pretty much be your personal stylist for the day and put together these amazing outfits. I’m glad she’s moved on to bigger and better – but I can’t afford to hire a personal stylist – haha!
I also feel like I haven’t been able to re-claim shopping. I no longer feel like I’m taking the first thing that remotely fits me anymore – but I also kind of hate shopping still. Even when I’m just out browsing and no-pressure shopping, just “for fun” my limbic system gets all up in arms and remembers all those shitty experiences I had as a chubby kid, and I start to do this anxiety induced fop sweat thing and I’m miserable. Even when I find cute stuff that I like – I’m sweating my ass off! I feel like a war veteran and my body is having PTSD from so many trips to the mall to buy clothes that ultimately made me look like a middle aged female executive even though I was barely in junior high.
Luckily, there is much more variety now that I live in a big city and we have the internet – and I try to make my clothes shopping much more enjoyable – but I still get frustrated when something fits my tummy area, but pulls in the bust. Or it fits my bust, but makes my midsection look bigger than it is.
I am right there with you. I am fat all over – I am about 350 pounds – but the vast majority of me is in my middle. I have a small chest and I have a concave ass. So here I am, moving along, not hating myself, and I see all these people who weigh about what I do but they are giant hourglasses. Or they have butts. Or they have defined waists. Or whatever. And I just get so bummed.
I gave up pants a long time ago because I can’t find any to fit me. I feel like I look much better now that I have stopped wearing clothes that don’t fit, that have to be pulled at and pulled up and sucked in and on and on. Recently I tried to try on pants and I could not fit into the largest size. I could not fit by far. I don’t even like pants, but it bugged me. I am doing pretty well with not hating myself and doing the positive body image thing but the realization thatI am literally the exact inverse of what I am “supposed” to be is frustrating.
http://t.co/k5a5E1vMDz me trying pants
http://t.co/LLUKPr2Hsx trying pants again
I think you look great in your trying-on-pants photos — it’s just a shame the pants don’t fit, cuz they do look good on you and that’s a GREAT bra you’re rockin’.
Golda I am an Italian fa(t)shion blogger and I have exactly your same body shape. Most of the times I have your same petception when I see people say that hourglassy bloggers look ‘hotter’ or that some brands are more interested in bloggers with a different body shape than mine. I ended up thinking that being different istituto more challenging but also interesting as I like challenges. I also like seeing that someone like Nicolette Mason, one of the most stylish and respected blogger is an apple shape. There are a few brands that tried to think of different shapes such as evans. I tend to choose elasticated waistbands as I can size down my bottoms
Before I had kids I weighed the same as I do now and mostly carried it the same. Despite being fat I liked how I looked. After three c-sections that mostly trips me up now. The result of the surgeries that brought my children into the world and kept me from dying during childbirth is hanging skin. Alot of hanging skin. It really is the only part of my body I haven’t come to accept or love. Looking at fatshion blogs I never seem to see the “front butt” as my oldest calls it however I do see it every time I try to wear pants instead of a dress.