Golda Poretsky, HHC
Due to a very full weekend at the Ladies Rock Camp, I’ve decided to repost this Body Love Wellness favorite.
And, by the way, there’s still time to join me for my teleclass this Thursday — How To Feel Good In Your Skin — Free 60 Minute Teleclass And Group Meditation. Just click here to register!
Since I find myself spouting heresies every week at the Body Love Wellness Blog, I want to give you one more to chew on.
You Are Not Broken.
I say this because you are not an agglomeration of problems to be fixed and you are not in a race to see how fast you can fix them. I say this because you are really okay, right here and now.
I know that most of us go through our day connecting with what we see as our chronic problems. For many of you reading this blog, you have lived your life under the the spectre of your “weight problem”. Your “weight problem” colors everything you do, the way you interact with the world, the products you buy, the way you expect your body to function, the way you choose everything from your clothes to your lovers. And you think if you could just fix the weight problem, if you could just solve for x, everything else would fall into place, and you and your life would no longer be broken.
For others it’s not a weight problem. It’s some other problem that we’ve identified as being ours. It could be anything from infertility to cancer to crow’s feet. We all have certain problems that we magnify and see as the source of further problems.
We get lots of support in seeing our problems as the focus of our lives. Whether it’s an advertisment on television or a doctor’s advice, we’re constantly told that we need to get our problems under control, fix them, mitigate them, etc. We get the message that it’s our duty to elminate the problem so that we can then be happy and make everyone else happy. We understand that we shouldn’t rest until the problem is appropriately counteracted.
When we live our lives constantly focused on problems, we end up identifying with the problems themselves. As a result, we make poor choices and miss out on much of the good of life. (I can feel the chronic dieters out there nodding their heads as they read this.)
Only people who see themselves as having a weight problem would ever sign up for a diet program. Only a person who saw their weight problem as a major issue that had to get solved would sign up for getting weighed in at a meeting every week, eating prepackaged food for three meals a day, drinking diet shakes, starving themselves, making themselves vomit, etc. etc. If you don’t think you have a weight problem, you don’t do those things to yourself.
In other words, if you don’t see yourself as having a weight problem, you might actually be able to eat relatively healthfully, regardless of your size. You would be able to hear that voice inside your body that says, “I would like to eat that” or “I would not like to eat that” or “I’m hungry” or “I’m full.” You might also be able to hear your intuition more when it tells you things like, “I’d like to go back to school” or “I’d like to break up with my boyfriend” or “yoga is fun” or whatever your particular consciousness most desires. When you’re stuck in the problem, it’s hard to hear anything other than “I need to get this fixed right now in order to be happy.”
So, I will write it again. You are not broken. You are not a problem to be solved. Solving your “problem”, whatever you perceive your problem or problems to be, is not the key to happiness.
This week, I want you to identify whatever you think your big problem is. (For most of you, you’ll know it instantly.) Live this week as if your big problem was not a problem. Live as if it were already solved or wasn’t a problem at all. Notice what feels different. Notice if you feel better. As always, let us know how it goes in the comments below.
Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. To learn more about Golda and her work, click here.