How Can I Love My Body When It Continues To Betray Me?

How Can I Love My Body When It Continues To Betray Me Body Love WellnessLast week, I received an email that I think will resonate with you. Here’s what it said:

“How can I love my body when it continues to betray me? First I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in 1990. In 2003 I found a protocol to reverse it (which works) and I thought my troubles were over. Then in 2006 I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, high blood pressure and high cholesterol. This after dealing with underlying depression since 12 years old. I am on anti-depressants, medicine for all the previous listed, plus allergy meds, asthma meds, and I have Herpes which I’ve had since 86. I have to take meds daily for it because my immune system is so compromised that my body will have break-out after break-out without the meds. So I repeat how can I love my body?”

I don’t know about you, but in reading this email, I really felt this woman’s pain.

I felt her despair and her overwhelm.

Of course, I can’t really know what it’s like to be her, but I know I’ve been in similar shoes. And I know I’ve asked myself this same question many times.

So let’s look at some practical steps that you can take if you feel like your body is betraying you.

Your Body Is Actually Doing A Great Job

This may be really, really hard to hear, but your body is actually doing a great job.

There may be some people who won the genetic lottery and have very little stress and therefore don’t get sick much or have chronic problems. But most people that I encounter have some sort of chronic problem or physical difficulty, if not multiple ones.

Your body is doing the best it can to keep you alive and healthy. Your heart is pumping, your lungs are taking in oxygen, your immune system is doing the best it can to fight diseases.

Your body is really trying. It’s not a bad body. Maybe it’s got more issues than you’d like it to have, but it’s not doing anything to you on purpose. It may feel as though it’s betraying you, but it hasn’t, and it can’t. It’s hardwired to do the best it can.

Thinking that your body is betraying you can actually be harmful. Think about it–if you feel betrayed by your body, then you feel like you’re at odds with your body. Instead of feeling like you and your body are one (which is true), you feel like you’re in conflict, which increases your stress levels, and is not helpful to you/your body at all.

Shift The Focus

Once you let go of the belief that your body is betraying you, you can start to feel love for your body.

Writer Wayne Dyer often says that “you are more than what bothers you.” Similarly, your body is more than what bothers you about it.

Start by loving the things about your body that don’t bother you. You can love your body for keeping you alive, for doing its best, etc. If you feel like you have a little more energy than yesterday, allow yourself to feel love for your body for this increased energy. Feel love for small changes, moments that feel good, etc.

You might then start to send love to organs that are having some difficulty. You can send love to your pancreas, your sinuses, etc. The simplest way to do this is to say it aloud or think it. Say, “I love my pancreas” and imagine a loving energy surrounding it and bolstering it.

If this feels like an impossible task, keep reminding yourself that you’ve been NOT loving your body for a long time and it hasn’t been helpful. Keep reminding yourself that this is an experiment, one that you’ve been longing for for a long time.

Slowly become accustomed to how it feels to love parts of your body. Over time, this will become your default way of thinking about your body.

Allow For Possibility
Our letter writer noted something that shouldn’t be glossed over.

She writes, “In 2003 I found a protocol to reverse it (which works) . . .”

So a problem she was dealing with for 13 years actually had a solution that she was able to find. After 13 years of dealing with fibromyalgia she found something that reversed it and it actually worked.

If we were in a session together, I might ask her about the circumstances of her finding this protocol. What was her thinking at the time? How had she heard about this protocol that actually worked? Why was she open to trying it after 13 years of dealing with a chronic problem?

I could be wrong, but I bet one of the underlying mindset shifts that allowed her to find this protocol was that she allowed for the possibility that there was an answer. She allowed for the possibility that she could support her body in healing itself.

This is a key mindset shift for feeling differently about your body. You must allow for the fact that your experience and knowledge thus far are not the totality of experience and knowledge on the subject of your ailments. You must allow for the fact that your body has healing capacities that may not have been triggered yet. When you allow for possibility, you open up space in your experience, space that you can emotionally inhabit outside of your pain and ailments.

I’m not saying that loving your body is the absolute cure for anything, but I do think it helps open you up to possibilities and makes it easier to treat your body well.

Did this post resonate with you? Let me know what you think by commenting below.

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Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. To learn more about Golda and her work, click here.


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28 thoughts on “How Can I Love My Body When It Continues To Betray Me?

  1. I know I’m late to this, but thanks. I was just diagnosed with hypothyroidism and Addison’s disease over the past month, and I’m having a hard time coming to terms with it all. I feel like I tried to take care of my body, I ate right and lost a lot of weight, I exercised, I didn’t smoke or drink or party, but two parts of my body still decided to kick the bucket and I’m only in my 20s. What did I ever do to it? What else might go wrong? I know this is wrong thinking, and it makes me feel bad. I’m glad other people out there also have these feelings and thoughts too, and thank you for providing another way of looking at things. I’m sure I’ll get over these feelings in time, but it’s hard right now. Thanks again for writing this.

  2. I am dealing with the same issues (as are many I am sure). I keep looking for answers. I have tried so many different things to straighten out whatever it is that is making my body do these crazy things, but everytime I think I have an answer I get flares again. We don’t even really know what is wrong, just a strange grouping of many different things. I fainted for the first time ever (with no memory of before or during the incident) and they found that both corotid arteries in my head are clogged, one almost completely. My cholesterol is high, but it is lipid A, so regular drugs don’t work on it. I have IBS, but it feels like my intestines are being stabbed almost constantly. Since I had a c-section without anesthesia, it is unlikely that I just have a low threshhold for pain. My weight has been yo yoing in a huge way, without lifestyle changes and there are other issues that all happened within a year.
    It is very difficult to not feel like your body is betraying you when all the evidence seems to say otherwise. Of course, I am also dealing with some pretty severe, clinical depression (which is very hard to distinguish between situational depression.. very frustrating).
    For me, part of the problem is that I am so tired of saying “I don’t know if I can do…”. I can’t promise to be places, I can only do so much, and if I push (like when I am gardening), I suffer for it, sometimes for days. It makes me feel like a drain, and a whiner. I try not to allow my body to dictate my life. I still go to school, I still work when I can find it and I still try to find enjoyment in life when I can. Regardless, it is a battle on so many levels all the time, it is difficult to NOT look at yourself and feel like it is all out of your control and your body is trying to live your life without you.

  3. I am sympathetic to the plight of the person who wrote that email.

    However, I think it’s important to remember that nature is not always kind (please forgive the anthropromorphizing of nature). Young children die of cancer. Athletic people living healthy, whollistic lives die of heart attacks. AIDS. Infections. Parasites. And of course, so many of us are or were desperate to get thin and stay thin and found ourselves thwarted.

    Your body will be the way it is whether you love it or hate it. Hating it just increases your stress and fatigue, and gives no benefit. Choose to love it, it’s one of the aspects you can control.

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