Last week, I received an email that I think will resonate with you. Here’s what it said:
“How can I love my body when it continues to betray me? First I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in 1990. In 2003 I found a protocol to reverse it (which works) and I thought my troubles were over. Then in 2006 I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, high blood pressure and high cholesterol. This after dealing with underlying depression since 12 years old. I am on anti-depressants, medicine for all the previous listed, plus allergy meds, asthma meds, and I have Herpes which I’ve had since 86. I have to take meds daily for it because my immune system is so compromised that my body will have break-out after break-out without the meds. So I repeat how can I love my body?”
I don’t know about you, but in reading this email, I really felt this woman’s pain.
I felt her despair and her overwhelm.
Of course, I can’t really know what it’s like to be her, but I know I’ve been in similar shoes. And I know I’ve asked myself this same question many times.
So let’s look at some practical steps that you can take if you feel like your body is betraying you.
Your Body Is Actually Doing A Great Job
This may be really, really hard to hear, but your body is actually doing a great job.
There may be some people who won the genetic lottery and have very little stress and therefore don’t get sick much or have chronic problems. But most people that I encounter have some sort of chronic problem or physical difficulty, if not multiple ones.
Your body is doing the best it can to keep you alive and healthy. Your heart is pumping, your lungs are taking in oxygen, your immune system is doing the best it can to fight diseases.
Your body is really trying. It’s not a bad body. Maybe it’s got more issues than you’d like it to have, but it’s not doing anything to you on purpose. It may feel as though it’s betraying you, but it hasn’t, and it can’t. It’s hardwired to do the best it can.
Thinking that your body is betraying you can actually be harmful. Think about it–if you feel betrayed by your body, then you feel like you’re at odds with your body. Instead of feeling like you and your body are one (which is true), you feel like you’re in conflict, which increases your stress levels, and is not helpful to you/your body at all.
Shift The Focus
Once you let go of the belief that your body is betraying you, you can start to feel love for your body.
Writer Wayne Dyer often says that “you are more than what bothers you.” Similarly, your body is more than what bothers you about it.
Start by loving the things about your body that don’t bother you. You can love your body for keeping you alive, for doing its best, etc. If you feel like you have a little more energy than yesterday, allow yourself to feel love for your body for this increased energy. Feel love for small changes, moments that feel good, etc.
You might then start to send love to organs that are having some difficulty. You can send love to your pancreas, your sinuses, etc. The simplest way to do this is to say it aloud or think it. Say, “I love my pancreas” and imagine a loving energy surrounding it and bolstering it.
If this feels like an impossible task, keep reminding yourself that you’ve been NOT loving your body for a long time and it hasn’t been helpful. Keep reminding yourself that this is an experiment, one that you’ve been longing for for a long time.
Slowly become accustomed to how it feels to love parts of your body. Over time, this will become your default way of thinking about your body.
Allow For Possibility
Our letter writer noted something that shouldn’t be glossed over.
She writes, “In 2003 I found a protocol to reverse it (which works) . . .”
So a problem she was dealing with for 13 years actually had a solution that she was able to find. After 13 years of dealing with fibromyalgia she found something that reversed it and it actually worked.
If we were in a session together, I might ask her about the circumstances of her finding this protocol. What was her thinking at the time? How had she heard about this protocol that actually worked? Why was she open to trying it after 13 years of dealing with a chronic problem?
I could be wrong, but I bet one of the underlying mindset shifts that allowed her to find this protocol was that she allowed for the possibility that there was an answer. She allowed for the possibility that she could support her body in healing itself.
This is a key mindset shift for feeling differently about your body. You must allow for the fact that your experience and knowledge thus far are not the totality of experience and knowledge on the subject of your ailments. You must allow for the fact that your body has healing capacities that may not have been triggered yet. When you allow for possibility, you open up space in your experience, space that you can emotionally inhabit outside of your pain and ailments.
I’m not saying that loving your body is the absolute cure for anything, but I do think it helps open you up to possibilities and makes it easier to treat your body well.
Did this post resonate with you? Let me know what you think by commenting below.
Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. To learn more about Golda and her work, click here.
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This was so perfect for me to read today, Golda! Even though I’ve tried to embrace the goal of relaxing into and accepting my bodily ills, it sure is hard not to find myself in a state of self-pity, worry, or self-blame.
My favorite part of what you wrote above was “There may be some people who won the genetic lottery and have very little stress and therefore don’t get sick much or have chronic problems. But most people that I encounter have some sort of chronic problem or physical difficulty, if not multiple ones.”
I personally have found that some people will exclaim, “What, you’re sick AGAIN?” or, “You sure seem to get sick a lot,” and when they say that, I tend to take it as a rebuke, like they’re saying something’s wrong with me or I could have prevented it. But if I’m being realistic, I see that pretty much everyone suffers from something physical on a daily basis, and that reminds me that I’m not abnormal. And if I were a little high on the bell curve of having ailments–so what?
I think we like to believe that if we just did everything right–reduced stress, ate right, exercised right, etc., we would never get sick. That’s so bogus, and so reflective of our sense that we can control everything. The truth is, we can’t control everything and need to let go of the idea that we can!
Great article, Golda. As usual. :) I would love to hear more about the protocol that reversed fibromyalgia. I suffer with it every day of my life. And, I too blame my body. Time to check my thinking patterns.
I hate my body. I see it as a separate being that hates me and enjoys harming me. That sadistic monster needs to take personal responsibility for its choices and straighten up and fly right. I punish it sometimes and tell it how much I hate it. It could decide to never be sick again any time and it doesn’t want to because hurting me is too much fun to quit. My body is an evil ableist because it decided to be damaged by the long-term overwork and stress from my being a family caregiver.
Please don’t tell me the laws of biology are not subject to change. That’s only allowed in science fiction.
“Health and happiness solely depend on what you think”. Oh yes. Think positive about domestic violence, child abuse, gay bashing, et c and things will be fine. Hate to be a wet blanket, but there are folks on Earth who are not archangels.
I think you completely distorted what I wrote. And, of course, you have the right to feel any way you want about your body.
Sorry. I will do penance for wrong thinking. My experience is wrong. I understood what you said. It’s just very different from what i have lived.
The last was a response to another comment, not what you wrote.
“Your body is more than what bothers you about it.” – @bodylovewellnes http://t.co/BJPJ6WrvwT #bodylove
I accept that my body’s doing its best, but sometimes I still think it’s trying to kill me. Not just autoimmune diseases, but a disease in which my lung function is slowly failing, in spite of superexpensive medicines and medical gadgets used to enhance whatever function is left.
As you point out, the body wants to live healthy and disease free. Its actually our thoughts that can betray us and the symptoms of that are depression and disease.
Health and happiness solely relies on what you think – Buddha
This woman’s email really resonated with me because I sometimes feel the same way. I have two autoimmune diseases, in which my body attacks itself. And there is one of those pictures with words on it out there that I think about whenever I get down. “Auto Immune Disease — Because the only thing tough enough to kick my ass is me” It always gives me a chuckle and makes me feel a little better. My body is doing the best it can and sometimes needs a little outside help to run smoothly… :-)
“Your body is really trying. It’s not a bad body. ..it’s not doing anything to you on purpose.” http://t.co/6hsol4zyWB via @bodylovewellnes
Thanks, Toni. :)
Absolutely resonates Golda. That was an excellent response.