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The Deep Spiritual Practice Of Not Giving A Sh*t

by Golda Poretsky, H.H.C. on March 11, 2013

the deeply spiritual practice of not giving a shit golda poretsky body love wellnessOver the years, I’ve written many articles on things like dealing with negative comments about your body, letting go of comparing yourself to others, handling haters, and so forth. These are some of my most popular articles.

And I know why that is.

You’ve been taught, over and over again, that people’s opinions of you matter.

You’ve been taught that if someone thinks you’re too fat, or too loud, or too smart, or too dumb, or too whatever, or not enough whatever, that they get to have a say in how you feel about yourself.

So I’d like to introduce you to the deep spiritual practice of

Not Giving A Shit.

You may be thinking I’m joking when I say not giving a shit is one of my main spiritual practices, but I’m not.

I got an email a few days ago from a fat massage therapist who wanted to get into health coaching but was worried that people wouldn’t take her seriously as a health coach because she was fat. I introduced her to my deep, spiritual practice.

I had the same concerns when I started coaching. In reality, I’m sure there are people who don’t want to work with me because I’m fat. But there are also tons of people who want to work with me because I’m fat, or my fat is a non-issue.

Learning to not give a shit about the people who don’t want to work with me because I’m fat was key. And if other practitioners see my fat as an issue, I truly, on a deep level, do not give a shit.

If you notice that you’re holding yourself back from doing something you want to do because of other people’s opinions, it’s time to get on board with this spiritual practice.

8,000 Years, At Least, Of Not Giving A Shit

Of course, the deep spiritual practice of not giving a shit has some serious, ancient origins. As Lao Tzu said in the Tao Te Ching approximately 8,000 years ago — “care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner.”

In other words, if you give too much of a shit, other people get to control your choices.

I may not always use the words “not giving a shit,” and maybe growing up in New York has made me more comfortable and happy with curse words than most people.

But to me, there’s a power in saying, “I don’t give a shit” that I don’t feel when I say, “I don’t care” or “I’m releasing all attachment to so-and-so’s opinion of me.” When I say I don’t give a shit, there’s a power, a forcefulness, and a rebellious quality that I love.

Want to start giving less of a shit? Read on.

Starting Your Own Not Giving A Shit Practice

1) Just Say It — Literally say, “I don’t give a shit” more often. Someone thinks you’re too fat to do XYZ? Say, “I don’t give a shit.” Someone won’t acknowledge your feelings about something. Say, “I don’t give a shit.” Someone doesn’t like that you’re saying you don’t give a shit? You can guess what I think.

2) The Energy Bounce — When someone confronts you with a negative judgment or opinion about you, take a moment to picture, imagine, or feel that energy just bouncing right off of you. If it’s an internal judgment that you’re having about yourself, imagine that judgment flowing right out of your body.

3) Feel Love And Gratitude For Those That Support You — Put attention on the people in your life who do support, love, and approve of you. Feel daily gratitude that those people are in your life. As you start to feel more loving and positive about yourself, even just a little bit, give yourself some gratitude for that change.

One Last Note
This spiritual practice isn’t about not loving other people or not caring about their thoughts and feelings. It’s simply about letting go of their judgments and opinions of you.

The question always comes down to, “How much am I going to let someone else’s opinion of me control how I feel about myself and what I do?”

If you want their opinions to have less power over you, you must start to give less of a shit.

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Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. To learn more about Golda and her work, click here.



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the dude big lebowski jeff bridges well that's just like your opinion man gif

In the immortal words of The Dude, “That’s just like, your opinion, man.”

{ 58 comments… read them below or add one }

Hannah March 11, 2013 at 10:06 pm

Love it! I definitely needed this today! Thanks for all your good work and I’m so glad I’ve gotten to work with you!

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Leah / Super Starling! March 11, 2013 at 9:11 pm

Loving all over this post. I actually had a very similar conversation with a friend who was concerned about how her in-laws felt about her. I told her to find a mirror and very slowly quack like a duck into it. I told her it’d be easier to let comments roll off her like water off a duck’s back if she were to BECOME the duck. The whole thing made her laugh so hard she briefly forgot about her problems. Laughter and the ability to distance yourself from your problems is key in this world.

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@musicalshadow March 11, 2013 at 6:56 pm

“I embrace the spiritual practice of not giving a shit.” – @bodylovewellnes http://t.co/bUN0X25yjg

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white nectarine March 11, 2013 at 4:56 pm

Best. Post. Ever. And the fact that you have a quote from The Big Lebowski at the end makes it even better!

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Golda Poretsky, H.H.C. March 12, 2013 at 12:24 am

Glad you dug it! I’m an achiever from way back. I’d probably put a Lebowski reference in every post if I let myself. :)

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@OdetteSprong March 11, 2013 at 3:23 pm

“I embrace the spiritual practice of not giving a shit.” – @bodylovewellnes http://t.co/z7himtEp18

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@AuthenticAtl March 11, 2013 at 1:47 pm

“I embrace the spiritual practice of not giving a shit.” – @bodylovewellnes http://t.co/C0svRKgVJy

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Anna Guest-Jelley (@CurvyYoga) March 11, 2013 at 12:50 pm

I practice this, too! RT @BodyLoveWellnes: “The Deep Spiritual Practice of Not Giving a Sh*t” http://t.co/qIBqAByxad

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Jessie Matthews, HHC (@JessieM_HHC) March 11, 2013 at 11:44 am

I totally <3 Golda at Body Love Wellness. She’s the reason I went to IIN and became a Health Coach – so that I… http://t.co/MrjnuG33tr

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@EdnaSprinkle March 11, 2013 at 10:43 am

“I embrace the spiritual practice of not giving a shit.” – @bodylovewellnes http://t.co/HqJiRt26ZP

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Eugenia Pashnina March 11, 2013 at 10:45 am

Thank you, Golda. You helped me so much, you have no idea. And I don’t mean only with this post, but with everything that you do. I am so grateful that you are in this world ♥ Thank you for everything, you are gorgeous! ♥

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karin March 11, 2013 at 9:47 pm

great way to release repressed anger–the social taboo of those abused.

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