A Few Thoughts On The Youtube Trolls And Why It Really Is Okay To Be Fat And Visible

Tag: , , , , , , ,
internet trolls image

A pretty accurate depiction of an internet troll

I really, really wanted my TEDx talk on “Why It’s Okay To Be Fat” to go viral.

And it kind of did go viral. I just didn’t think it would happen the way it did.

Within a day or two of the talk going live on youtube, troll groups on bodybuilding forums and reddit set out to systematically shut it down. Within less than a week, they had written around 3,000 comments, voted down or marked as spam any supportive comments, and did everything in their power to get as many thumbs down on the video itself as possible.

Comments are now disabled, mainly because many of my supporters contacted the TEDx people and convinced them to turn off the comments. (A GAZILLION THANKS TO ALL OF YOU, BY THE WAY.)

It seemed like about 5% of the negative comments were of the, “DUH! Fat is bad!!!” variety and the other 95% were personal attacks on my appearance. I got called everything from a fat whale (yeah, whales are terrible, I guess?), a fat cunt (again, not a terrible thing), to Chris Christie (I’m not a fan of his politics, but his fatness doesn’t bother me in the least).

To be honest, there were definitely moments when the comments got to me. Seeing a comment about your hideousness get 50 likes doesn’t exactly shore up your ego.

At the same time, I feel like I’m pretty much the perfect person for this to happen to, because I really can take it. I’ve been practicing and teaching body acceptance for so long that mean comments on the internet don’t hurt me the way they would someone less body loving. I’m really serious about my deep spiritual practice of not giving a shit.

The thing that upset me most about this experience was all of the emails I got from folks who said “your experience with these trolls is the reason I don’t have a vlog/ web presence/ more visibility in my work.” And that really, really bummed me out. Because my not so secret mission in life is to empower plus sized women to do the things in life that they really want to do. I hated that the trolls of this world had gotten the better of them.

That’s the thing that scares me most. I don’t fear trolls; I fear their chilling effect.

Every time you stop yourself from doing something because you’re worried about what trolls will do, they win.

So here’s my take on trolls. I think there are ways to manage trolls, and I feel like the last two weeks have been a helpful crash course for me. I hope this will be empowering for you.

  1. Trolls Are Assholes — Pardon my French on this, but trolls are assholes. Think about it — when you disagree with someone, do you call them names, make fun of their appearance, publicly wish for their death, and hide behind internet anonymity? Probably not. You might argue with them a bit, or you might move on with your life or both. Trolls are sad little dipshits emboldened by other sad little dipshits, masquerading as much tougher dipshits. That’s all. When you think of it that way, how can they have any impact on how you feel about yourself and live your life?
  2. Make Fun Of Trolls Whenever You Feel Like It — I used to have a firm “ignore all trolls” policy. I still have that policy for fora outside of twitter. But on twitter, all bets are off. Twitter is the most fun place to make fun of trolls because you’ll notice that (a) they have no followers, (b) they are terrible at witty banter, and (c) your twitter friends can join in and have a good laugh.

    3. Here are a few of my favorites:

  3. Never Give Trolls What They Ask For — Don’t debate with trolls. Trolls will often demand that you debate with them, send them more info, comment on XYZ. You owe them nothing. If someone is pleasant and asks for something, that’s one thing. But if they’re insulting in any way, don’t give them an inch. Mark them as spam or block them and move on. Don’t reply unless it feels fun to do so.

If this helps you, great. And if you disagree with it, that’s fine too. Just please don’t let them stop you from doing your thing!

By the way, if you’re looking to have a more body loving summer, you’re going to love The Summer Of Body Love. Click below to check it out.

After-Post-BL1-Ad

Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. To learn more about Golda and her work, click here.

Get great body love tips and more when you subscribe:


(Listen to this post here, or subscribe on itunes.)

39 thoughts on “A Few Thoughts On The Youtube Trolls And Why It Really Is Okay To Be Fat And Visible”

  1. Golda! I watched your ted talk only a few minutes after it had been released. I excitedly watched it and applauded everything you talked about. I was excited to see if anyone in the comments had discovered/learned something new today like fat does not equal health but to my dismay i found the opposite. I found ridiculous attacks on what you look like. I was SO FREAKING PISSED OFF and really, scared. I was scared of being attacked for what I looked like. it was an awful feelings so i got into a debate with one idiot who called you a whale explaining that even if he didn’t agree with you, there was no need to attack you in that way and he of course, said some bullshit about you teaching things that were plain WRONG and I WANTED TO PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE. but of course I just needed to let it go. Golda, you are so spectacular and wonderful for working to empower all women, with your emphasis with bigger women and fat women. I really believe that you’re helping ALL women because if one type of woman is being put down…there is no true equality until we’re ALL TREATED EQUAL. you’re lovely. And I learned my lesson: NO ARGUING WITH TROLLS.

  2. That is actually one of the reasons I’ve been very low key on YouTube. I get the occasional email as it is and they literally make me ill — more ill than being fat every could. I am glad there are people like you with stronger psyche’s. ;D

  4. Golda, you handled this so well. I saw some of the responses (and response vids), and I had to step away. (I felt physically sick at the vitriol in some of them.) I am still learning to grow a thicker skin, and I’m grateful for Amazing Amazons like you, Ragen, Linda, and others who are standing up for HAES and accepting our bodies as they are. Each of you encourage and motivate me to take the best care of my body, and most of all, to love it with all its rolls and curves.

  5. Golda,
    i thought your TED talk was intelligent, humble, and good. The fat fearing trolls are just that: they fear fat and in their fear, believe that by attacking, they are some how better.
    and some are just mean spirited individuals.

  7. I don’t usually comment, but this time I simply have to. ***You go, girl!*** Your talk was brilliant and your activism (blog, books, talks, counseling) is truly inspiring and generous. Trolls can’t get the best of you: Golda 1, Trolls 0.

    Now, all this trolling made me think, what is wrong with all these people? Why do they feel such a need to attack, hurt, and bring down? They have HUGE issues. God bless their hearts.

    1. They think they are helping. They think enough public shame will cure the entire obesity problem, save for a few holdouts that are too lazy to care.

      It’s like being tortured for heresy by the Spanish Inquisition while the Chief Inquisitor thinks he’s doing the most moral thing possible in his attempts to save your soul. It’s just as backwards, and just as ineffective.

  8. Hi Golda. The way you have handled this is empowering, thank you for posting this. Like a previous person posted health and weight are two different matters yet everyone assumes the thin person is healthy and the fat person is not. Many of us are living proof this is not the case. I have yet to learn your skill of not letting the negative comments get to me. Keep up the positive work.

  9. I think that the hatred towards larger people has become more vehement than ever. I don’t remember it being this bad even in the thin-centric 1980s, when I was a closet bulimic and well underway on my journey to yo-yo dieting and self-hate until I was in my mid-forties and found out about size acceptance. Still, even though thin was “in” and fat was not “where it’s at,” I don’t remember there ever being as much hate towards folks with plus size physiques as there is now. Maybe it’s just because the Internet allows the hate to be more widespread that I see it as happening more often.

  10. We are the worst nightmare of those people who take their power from historical privilege. Fat Acceptance really is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse to them. They never thought it would come to this – and they are terrified. Not to say that they can’t be destructive – even a dying rattlesnake can still bite. But they really are doomed.

Comments are closed.