Those of you who read this blog often know that I’m kind of a comedy nerd. Even though I often find Judd Apatow movies somewhat sexist, I still watch them to see some of my favorite comedic actors doing their thing. And also, I’ve had a thing for Paul Rudd since Clueless, as my pinterest boards can attest.
I had also heard that Melissa McCarthy (whom I adore) had a small, extremely funny role in it, which made me want to see it all the more.
Even though I had heard not such great things about This Is 40, I went to see it this weekend and liked it much more than I expected. But the real standout for me was, not surprisingly, a scene with Melissa McCarthy. I’m putting a MILD SPOILER ALERT here, but only a tiny part of the movie will be spoiled by this discussion.
So, as you probably know, the movie focuses on the lives of Debbie (Leslie Mann) and Pete (Paul Rudd). They have two daughters, 13-year-old Sadie (Maude Apatow) and 8-year-old Charlotte (Iris Apatow). At one point in the movie, Debbie and Pete take away Sadie’s electronics, and they read her iChats or facebook feed or both (I think that’s a minor inconsistency in the movie) and see an argument between Sadie and Joseph (Ryan Lee). Later on, Debbie confronts Joseph at school, saying pretty bizarre and awful stuff and actually making the kid cry. Then Joseph’s mom, Catherine (played by Melissa McCarthy), gets into an argument with Pete at school because she’s angry that Debbie yelled at her kid.
Here’s where things get interesting. Debbie, Pete, and Catherine all get a called into the principal’s office to talk about what happened. In this principal’s office scene, Catherine/Melissa McCarthy starts out telling the absolute truth about what Debbie said to her son. Pete and Debbie admit to nothing, acting calmer than they act in the entire movie, and denying everything that Catherine is saying. The principal (Joanne Baron) seems to take Pete and Debbie’s side right away, even chiding Catherine for her use of offensive language when she’s repeating what Pete and Debbie had said to her and her kid.
This whole scenario makes Catherine angrier and angrier, which vaults her into a hilarious ad hominem attack on Pete and Debbie. She says, “Maybe if I looked more like this fake bullshit couple — it looks like they’re in a bank commercial.” Turning to Debbie and Pete, she says, “That’s what you look like. Like you’re a bullshit bank commercial couple.”
[EDIT: The video of the scene is below for the time being! I’m disputing my ability to use it under the fair use doctrine. If it disappears or you can’t see it, then it’s being blocked by youtube.]
Of course, this is a comedy, and this scene is just a tiny scene. It’s meant to be funny. And, as a viewer, I know I’m supposed to side with Pete and Debbie. They are the protagonists, the characters we’ve been watching all along. I’m supposed to enjoy this as evidence that despite their own relationship issues, they’re banding together against a common enemy, and coming out on top. Yay for Pete and Debbie!
Instead, however, I completely sided with Catherine. I felt her anger. I felt the way she was getting labeled as the unhinged, aggressive mom because she was fat and angry and dealing with an attractive “bullshit bank commercial couple” who were able to act calm because they knew going into it that the principal would probably side with them. It’s essentially a perfect scene about how thin privilege works, and it made me think about a recent study about how fat female defendants are viewed as more likely to be guilty than thin, female defendants.
Critics have noted that it’s hard to feel bad for Pete and Debbie. Despite the very real financial struggles that get talked about (his record label is going down the tubes, her store is barely breaking even), it doesn’t stop them from having big catered birthday parties, weekend getaways at expensive looking hotels, etc. Similarly, their relationship problems seem mostly self-imposed — if they would stop trying to cut out cupcakes and the occasional cigarette and give each other a break about it, things would be much improved. (We could also talk about how the “fear of fat” part of fat stigma is probably why Debbie is so fixated on Pete’s “cupcake addiction”, but perhaps that’s fodder for another post.)
So, have you seen this movie? Do you intend to? Can you think of another movie where thin privilege is highlighted in this way? I’d love to hear from you in the comments section below!
Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. To learn more about Golda and her work, click here.
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We’re not supposed to feel sorry for the couple, we’re supposed to relate. The way they fight is how couples fight and feel confused about why they are even fighting. Relationships are hard even when everything’s pretty good and your kids are awesome. They’re doing their best but they’re fighting a lot and it sucks. And it makes them crazy and they are freaking out at their kids’ school now. Couples can relate.
Hmm, I’m not really sure that the audience is supposed to side with Pete and Debbie in this scene — they are awful, awful, awful, and Debbie is unhinged in her encounters that lead up to this scene with the principal. I think we’re supposed to be “happy” for them at this moment, because their effort to make Catherine look crazy is the one example of actual teamwork we see them in, but that’s pretty sad: they only come together to oppose someone else.
In addition to what you’ve already mentioned about Melissa McCarthy’s great job here is that it is SO RARE for anyone in a TV show or movie to acknowledge that the actors are good-looking, and that that means something. It’s like the world we see on our screens is populated ONLY with pretty people, plus a few uglies for laughs, and no one acknowledges that the screen-world is completely different than real life, and that the view of and ideas about attractivenss put forth in screen-world matter. So fuck yeah, they do look like they’re in a bank commercial, and they do look like movie stars, and it’s because they’re in a movie. (Also, after seeing Leslie Mann in Knocked Up, I was miffed to find out that the actress playing the woman whom the bouncer said was so old was younger than I am . . . after I saw this movie, I realized, “Hey, she may be younger than I am, but she looks older, because she is so. damn. skinny.”)
That Melissa McCarthy woman seems cool and so does the character she plays, but if the movie is about the “fake bank ad” couple and not her, I don’t see the point. Also don’t see how it’s actually calling out thin privilege if the principal sides with the bank couple and if we the audience are supposed to side with them as well.
Not to mention, Judd Apatow is so overrated that it’s not even funny. Also, why would I want to watch a movie about a couple who keep whining about their “financial troubles” and yet have enough money for expensive parties and weekend getaways? Either the aren’t really in financial trouble or they are in financial trouble but are dumb and don’t know how to manage their money.
It all sounds pretentious. Not nearly as pretentious as “The Impossible” aka the story of the white people who lost their luggage in a tsunami, but still pretty bad.
(And for the record, I get that it sucks to be in tsunami not matter what, but the tourists in the movie get to go home at the end. They didn’t lose their homes and livelihoods like the Thai people that they barely interact with in the film.)
I saw this movie last weekend.
It was HORRIBLE.
Watching the two main characters fight reminded my of living at home before my parents divorced. And that’s all it is. Fight after fight after petty fight. It’s. Not. Funny.
The most off-putting thing, however, is that Megan Fox’s entire role is centered around how she looks and the fact that she has a nice body. All of the jokes relating to her are ridiculously sexist and painful to sit through.
If this movie was about the fat lady who is pissed I would watch it I cant relate to a the main couple at all something about the scene is very chilling about how people are really treated based on how they are perceived.
Much as I love MM, that was painful to watch. I think I’ve learned all I care to about “poor” Pete and Debbie.
The other part of the dynamic is…I guess the closest term would be “calm privilege”? Dealing with anger management issues for most of my life, I’ve learned the hard way about Not Being Allowed To Express Anger, and automatically Being WRONG for simply being the louder or angrier person in the room. Apparently the Forbidden Anger Rule goes double for fat women like myself.
I haven’t set foot back in a high school since I
escapedgraduated. Nice to see the privilege survives well past that graduation day 8PThat movie with Sandra Bullock and Mellissa McCarthy looks hilarious! Even the movie with her and Jason Bateman looks more than mildly amusing.
Must read! This Is #ThinPrivilege : Why Melissa McCarthy Makes “This Is 40″ Worth Watching http://t.co/jgXJNPLY
I think, after reading this post and watching that clip, I’m going to have to say no on ever watching this movie. I don’t find it funny at all how MM’s character was treated, and I can only sympathize with the outburst – especially since she was in the right, and nobody was listening to her. It’s not funny, it’s upsetting.
If this movie is about a “bank commercial” couple and all their little problems, despite being pretty well-off, I’ve got better things to do with my time – like deal with my own giant sack of real problems. I’d much rather wait and see MM’s movie that’s coming out with Sandra Bullock – now THAT looks funny.
This Is Thin Privil… http://t.co/8Cu6rccu