I have news for you, and it may be hard to hear. You’re not perfect, and you never will be. There, I said it! How does it feel? Scary? Anger-inducing? Liberating?
Perhaps I shouldn’t have said that to you, but hey, I’m not perfect either. I say things I shouldn’t say sometimes. I make choices that later feel a lot less like choices and a lot more like mistakes. I annoy people. I piss people off. I have bad hair days. And so do you.
So why am I writing this? Just to be a jerk? Just to annoy you?
Not really. I actually do have a point. (Sometimes I’m so imperfect that I make people read 100 words until I get to the point!)
I’m writing this to let you know that you don’t have to be perfect. I want you to know that you can make mistakes, say the wrong things, do the wrong things, wear the wrong things, have bad hair, forget to exercise, eat a twinkie, procrastinate, get mad at your brother, forget to call your mom, burn dinner, watch bad t.v. until your contact lenses stick to your eyes, or any of the myriad other things you’ve done that feel unforgivable.
And, you’re still lovable.
I know—this is big news. Many of us learn from a young age that the way to receive love, affection and approval is by striving to be as perfect as possible. And I know that, in particular, those who read blogs like these are striving to be better, to achieve more, to love more, to be more. As one of the biggest self improvement seekers of them all, I truly applaud all of your efforts. I love you when you are mastering these self improvement tips and when you’re falling off the wagon.
So this week, I want you to embrace your imperfection. Say something inappropriate, and applaud yourself for your wit. Have a bad hair day and wink at yourself in the mirror. Find yourself adorable for oversleeping.
Share your gorgeous imperfections with us in the comments below. We’re still going to love you – especially me.
Want more support on body acceptance and intuitive eating? Sign up for Golda’s Body Love Wellness 6 Week Intensive Teleclass or the Body Love Book Club today and receive great discounts when you sign up for either or both! This is a special deal for More Of Me To Love Readers!
Also, please stop by Golda’s Facebook group and become a member of the Body Love Wellness Group!
[New Post] Your Imperfections Are Adorable – via #twitoaster http://www.bodylovewellness.com/2009/07/…
SPCO: News Post: Performance: The emotions of winning and losing and the ensuing judgments: The context of competit… http://ow.ly/176ele
Hi Kelly! It sounds like you were having a great time until judgments crept in, in the form of your mom's phone call. I think that often those of us who have a "weight struggle" (as your mom called it) get even more pressure to be perfect. It's as if, because we're fat, we're not entitled to a day of vegging out, and need to justify it (just as you did with the pilates). Pilates are great. Taking a day to veg is great. Enjoying your right to be imperfect is a practice, just like pilates or yoga or meditating. You did not commit a crime. You just didn't live up to a standard of perfection that no one actually lives up to. If vegging out and eating chips were a crime, the entire country would be in prison. :)
Hi Ivan! It's funny you should mention us being in sync, b/c I always ask the question "what would most support my readers right now?" when I write. Maybe it's my tarot training but that's just how I roll.
I would ask you, what's inherently unlovable about your stomach? Your dog, who loves without the judgment we learn as part of our culture, loves your belly just as it is. Here's a little fun homework — write 10 things that are great about your stomach/belly. See if you can do that. It might help shift your perspective.
Thanks Golda! Today on a spectacular summer day I chose to sit indoors and watch a baseball game. I ate chips and wings and enjoyed myself until my mom called. She was watching Oprah and wanted me to know I'm not alone in my weight struggle. I started to beat myself up for vegging out on a beautiful day. I went to Pilates this morning but somehow that didn't feel like enough. I grocery shopped and bought myself a bag of chips. I felt fine with it until I didn't. Who cares if I enjoy a ballgame and eat some chips? Why does it feel like a crime?
Golda, It is very interesting how your posts seem to sync with what is going on for me. The last couple of days I have been out there living my life, but my attention has been on my stomach. It has been grabbing my focus and attention throughout the day. I have been trying to love it, but the closest I can get is that I am lovable in spite of my extra large stomach. I try to think about things I am grateful for about it, but there is nothing there. I will not stop living my life because I have a very big stomach, but I am not sure I can find a way to look at this imperfection as adorable. This is one of my greatest challenges as I know the self love is paramount and on some issues I just have a hard time getting there. Oh I just thought on one nice thing about my stomach…. my little dog likes to perch herself on it while I scratch the back of her neck. It is kind of funny when people without big stomachs visit as my dig tries to perch on them and doesn't understand why there is no stomach on them for her to rest on. Well at lease that made me smile.