Defining Resistance
Okay, perhaps it’s a bit of a stretch to go from celebrating the Mexican Resistance for Cinco de Mayo to celebrating our internal resistance, but I’m going to try!
I love writing blog entries for More of Me to Love. They’re fun to write, they get me in touch with this community, and they create great dialogues. But somehow, every Friday before they’re due, I find myself procrastinating. The day flies by and it’s 4 PM, and I need to finish my blog within the hour. In fact, I had all week to write it, but I waited until Friday and then until the final hour!
So what’s the difference between plain old not doing something and resisting doing it?
To me, resistance always feels like it has a “charge” to it, or an intensity of feeling. For example, I don’t like the way mushrooms taste, so if someone offered me a plate of mushrooms, I would just say “No, thank you,” and wouldn’t feel any resistance to saying yes or no. On the other hand, if a friend asked me to go to a really popular club on a Saturday night, I might want to go but come up with excuses not to, like “I don’t have the right clothes,” or “I might not want to stay out late,” or any number of excuses that would keep me from doing what I actually want to do.
Resistance can take many forms: sometimes it’s procrastination (like the blog writing example); sometimes it’s a feeling of being afraid to make a decision or to take action; sometimes you find lots of excuses for why you can’t do something (like the club invitation example).
Our Comfort Zones
Feeling resistance is not a negative – it’s a sign that you’re being asked to do something outside of your comfort zone. When you feel resistance you know that you’re close to expanding your view of yourself and what you’re capable of doing. As difficult as it may be, however, it’s so important to make little moves out of your comfort zone whenever you can. As you do so, you will broaden your understanding of your capabilities. With each step into new territory, you will have a new feeling of bravery, and your comfort zone will get larger and larger. Eventually, you will find yourself capable of actions that you never thought possible before.
How to Start Stepping Out of Our Comfort Zones
So the next time you feel resistance, explore it. Notice how much intensity of feeling you have. Give yourself time to decide whether your reasons for not doing something are really valid or just excuses for you to stay comfortable.
Each day, try something that feels like a stretch. It may be dressing up more for dinner, accepting an invitation from a friend, speaking your mind on an issue at work, or anything else that you might have been resisting. See how it feels, and approve of yourself for the stretch even if it feels difficult or you feel like you didn’t handle it as well as possible. There are always new opportunities for a stretch just around the corner. Let your resistance guide you there!
Want some individualized attention on moving through resistance and stretching out of your comfort zone? Check out www.bodylovewellness.com to set up a free consultation with Golda! And don’t forget to check out my More Of Me to Love Blog and other great More of Me to Love blogs.
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