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Most of us are constantly aspiring for change in our lives. We want a better living situation, better job, better boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse, and no sooner do we have those things than we get frustrated and begin to want something new and different.

But very often, the key to being happier with our current state and, yes, getting that new thing that we want is appreciation for what we currently have.

My clients often ask me why they should find things to like about something that they feel isn’t working for them. Finding things to appreciate about something you want to change is often a big challenge for people, especially when what they want to change has to do with their bodies. Most of us are so programmed to find things that we don’t like about our bodies, that we don’t know where to start when we have to think of things that we like. We also think that if we begin to like things about our bodies, we’ll get complacent and things will never change.

I’m going to start with an example of something that has less emotional charge for most people than their bodies. Let’s use the desire to get a new job as an example. Let’s say you’re in a job where you work long hours for too little money. (I’ve been there .) And let’s say you want a job where you work less, earn more, and do more interesting work. (I’ve soooo been there too.) Aside from updating your resume and searching for new jobs, one of the best things you can do is make a list of things about your current job that you’re grateful for. Include everything you can think of, from a coworker you’ve befriended, to skills you’ve learned, to the location — everything.

This exercise does a couple of things. It changes your mindset about your job and you in your job. It allows you to see and feel all that your current job has brought to you. And, perhaps most importantly, it shows you that though you desire change, your current job isn’t “bad” or “wrong”.

Making a list of what you’re grateful for about your body can have an amazing effect. It can make you see that your body, just as it is right now, is beautiful and functional and brilliant. You may find that you’re grateful for so many things about your body, like the beautiful curve of your neck and the strength of your arms and your delicate wrists. You may even find yourself grateful for some of your “bad” habits, like when late-night snacking got you through a painful break-up when you didn’t feel like it was safe to deal with your emotions. Once you begin to find the genius in your current situation and choices, you may find that those situations that you had seen as negative before fall away more easily.

Try this: The next time you’re feeling wrong or bad about a situation (job, habit, relationship, anything) make a list of 25 things that you’re grateful for about that situation. It may be a challenge, but you’ll feel so glad that you did it. Feel free to report back about how it went for you!