New clients often say to me that they can be “good” with food all day but get starving at night and find themselves overeating. They look at their nighttime eating habits as bad, as self-sabotage, and as a sign that they’re out of control around food.
They look for a solution to controlling their nighttime eating so that they can finally be “good” 24 hours a day.
But who are you really being good to when you’re going hungry most of the day, only to finally feed your growing hunger at night?
Well, you’re being good to the diet companies and diet book publishers who know that people feeling bad about themselves and binge eating just brings them to spend money on the next diet or diet book.
You’re being good to the voices in our head that say that you’re always going to be out of control around food and can’t trust our inner knowing about how much you need to eat and when.
In essence, being “good around food” all day is really, really bad for you.
Stop to think about what your day is like when you’re being “good” with food. Are you eating what you would like to eat? Are you eating when you’re hungry and stopping when you’re full? Are you spending much of the day thinking about what you can and can’t eat, rather than things you would enjoy thinking about or need to think about?
Rather, when you’re being good with food, are you consumed with what you’re not consuming?
Try this: spend a day being good with you and good to you, rather than being good with food. Pick a day or part of a day when you can clear your schedule as much as possible. Make an appointment for something that brings you pleasure — a bath, a manicure, a massage, dinner with your best friend… whatever sounds pleasurable to you. Focus on the pleasure that day, rather than the food. When you do eat that day, try to savor and enjoy every bit of food. Try being guided by your internal sense of what would nourish you, rather than having a diet dictate your food choices and amounts. Leave a comment about how this felt and how this was for you! And remember, if this is difficult or challenging, that’s perfectly normal.
Goodbye, Fatty! Hello, Skinny! How I Lost Weight And Still Ate The Foods I Loved-Without Dieting http://bit.ly/9wDHdO
Hi PJ — Sounds good, PJ. Also, there’s no reason to know what you weigh. It’s not a real indicator of anything. (I may get flack for that, but it’s true.)
Hi Susan — Glad to have you here! I think you’re right on about eating close to bed time. It can definitely leave your extremities cold, as you noted.
Also, please take what your fellow WW member said with a grain of salt. The body might not need that much food to live, but may need more to thrive. Also, different people need different amounts of food at different times in their lives, based upon their relative health, activity, etc.
Best of luck and thanks for your comments!
Hi Golda, I come from Auntie PJ’s place. I am thinking I will bookmark this blog. I am a Weight Watcher and we discuss stuff like this all the time. Eating too much at night is a problem for me, but I am trying mightily to get a handle on it.
I try not to see food as a good or bad thing, but only necessary to good health. I am not always successful with that. ;-). Another woman at the meeting once said, “It is amazing how little food the body really needs to live.”
One thing I have found when I eat too close to bedtime, especially in the cold months is that I tend to get cold when I go to bed. I am sure it is because when one eats, the attention the body pays to digestion leaves little attention to the extremities bloodwise, thus coldness ensues!
Must add: I actually have no idea what I weigh. I judge by how comfortable my clothes feel.
Aw. I don’t really have a handle on this stuff, but thanks. :)
One thing that’s pretty cool: since I’ve been running four days a week, I actually have to eat more food. I only run for 30 minutes, but I can eat LOTS of extra food without my weight fluctuating. I guess it’s “real” hunger as opposed to the munchies.
Thanks for commenting!
Patia — If you really don’t feel like eating in the morning, it’s cool. You don’t have to force yourself. I think the key would be that when you actually get hungry, to take a break and eat.
Grandmere Mimi — I didn’t have to “fix” PJ at all. She’s one of the few people that I know who seems to have a good sense of this stuff already! And yes, the clean your plate dictum can be really insidious. What form does yours take? Some things to remember are –(a) you stuffing yourself does not help starving people elsewhere, despite what we might have been told, (b) you can always have it as leftovers when you’re hungry again, and (c) the food ends up dumped somewhere, either out of you or in the garbage, so it makes no difference anyway!
PJ — I’m not suggesting that having a snack at night is an awful thing. But some people struggle so much during the day to be “perfect” with their eating that they binge at night. Generally, though, it’s nice if you can have at least an hour or two between eating and sleeping. It’s hard to digest food when you’re sleeping, and your sleep is usually more restful when you don’t eat right before. However, there are some people who do need food at night to sleep. The key is to find what makes you feel best, rather than what a particular diet guru tells you. (I know this isn’t your problem in particular, but it’s an issue for a lot of people.)
Am I doomed to be Auntie PJ from now on?
Actually, Mr. PJ is a classic example of being “good” during the day and “bad” at night. Being male, however, he doesn’t see it this way. Night is when he gets to relax, so he snacks. Consequently, I snack at night too. I actually don’t find that it makes much of a difference. Feeling hungry when you’re trying to get to sleep is awful, though. We would all do better not to torture ourselves.
Hi Golda. Did you “fix” your Auntie PJ? If so, you did a fine job on her.
Are you eating when you’re hungry and stopping when you’re full?
That’s the hard part, becoming conscious of when I’m eating after I’m full. Having heard the “clean your plate” instructions through many long years doesn’t help. I think you’re on to something, Golda.
I had two dietitians tell me I wasn’t eating enough in the daytime, which was causing me to overeat at night. Once I started making an effort to eat breakfast, lunch and an afternoon snack, the night binging went away.
It’s hard, though — I have no appetite in the morning, and by the time I’m hungry, I’m busy and don’t want to stop for food.