by Golda Poretsky, H.H.C.
www.bodylovewellness.com

Listen to the podcast of this post here!

Yum! Capuccino Date. (Image Courtesy Of Flickr)

I’m bringing back one of my favorite posts this week.  Read the magic of dating yourself as a way of upping your self care and amplifying your attraction factor. Enjoy!

Recently, I had the pleasure of going to a lovely dinner with my friend (let’s call her Amanda). The subject turned to the topic of dating. She told me how, about a year ago, she had wanted to meet a guy but wasn’t meeting anyone who piqued her interest, so she decided to start dating herself. In essence, she decided to be her own lover. She would take herself out to restaurants that she had been dying to go to, she would buy herself flowers, write herself love letters, make beautiful dinners for herself, and enjoy sensual time with herself. She so enjoyed dating herself that she ended up attracting a really great relationship in a matter of months. She joked that she was in a polyamorous relationship — her primary relationship was with herself and her secondary relationship was with her boyfriend.

What I loved about Amanda’s story was that she kept dating herself even though she now had a boyfriend because the benefits of dating herself were so great.

So what are some of the benefits of dating yourself?

• Dating yourself allows you to get in touch with what you really want in relationships. It allows you to connect with how you want to be loved, how you want to be touched, how much space you need, etc.
• Dating yourself allows you to see how much you have and how much you are able to fulfill your own desires, without relying on someone else to do it for you. In essence, you realize your completeness.
• Dating yourself allows you to assert boundaries in your relationships in an easy and loving way. Sometimes it’s easier to say, “I need to go on a date with myself” than “I need to be left alone”.
• Dating yourself allows you to spend time enjoying the sensual pleasure of your body, which is so healing in terms of body acceptance (and so wonderful nonetheless)!
• If you are looking for a relationship, dating yourself gives yourself a reminder of how it feels to be dating. And, as you may have found, people often get more attention from potential lovers when they’re already in a relationship. Therefore, dating yourself can actually make you more attractive because you’re already in a relationship.

In the work that I do, I often find that different techniques work for different people when it comes to increasing their sense of self love and well being. If dating yourself sounds like fun to you, I encourage you to do it! In order to support you, answer these questions and start acting on your answers. Your lover is waiting!

• What kinds of communication would you like to get from the person you’re dating? (Consider: sexy text messages, love letters, loving voice mails.)
• Where would you like to go on dates? (Consider: restaurants, movies, museums, parks, boatrides, at home.)
• What kind of gifts would you like to get from a lover? (Consider: flowers, books, clothes, jewelry.)
• What kind of sensual experiences would you like to have with a lover? (Experiment with exploring your body. There are some great books on this topic.)
• What would you like to wear on these dates? (Consider: dressing up, lingerie, perfume, makeup, hair.)
• How do you like to set the mood for myself? (Consider: music, baths, self massage.)

Have fun with this. Do the things that sound pleasurable to you and forget about the things that don’t. And remember, the first rule of the Body Love Club is it’s all research.

Finally, the idea of fulfilling your own desires doesn’t have to be limited to dating yourself. Pick a desire that you feel you need someone else to fulfill, and try to fulfill it yourself, even in a small way. For example, if you’re looking for a new job, perhaps you want to pay yourself for a task that you do, just to get the feeling into your body of being paid for different work.

As always, let me know how it goes!

And… please join me for my FREE TELECLASS THIS WEDNESDAY: The Rules Of FATtraction:  Body Love For Better Dating!  I’ll be sharing even more flirtation tips, ways to change how you feel about your body, and so much more!  To check it out or register, click here: http://www.bodylovewellness.com/2011/07/10/the-rules-of-fattraction-body-love-for-better-dating-new-free-teleclass/

Looking for more support with intuitive eating and getting off diets? Click here to sign up for your FREE Body Love Wellness Consultation.

I’m Dating Myself Again . . . Literally originally appeared on Body Love Wellness on July 18, 2011.

This is your last reminder, my dears!

Registration for The Empress Club ends TONIGHT.

If you want to get in on the only group coaching program specifically designed with you and your desires in mind, then sign up by tomorrow at midnight.

This program is jam-packed with the tools you need to permanently change your relationship to food and your body for good. In the Empress Club, you will:

* Learn powerful tools to IMMEDIATELY change the way you relate to your body
* Get my unique process for healing from long held emotional eating patterns
* Get support from other women who know your struggles and will support you in moving forward
* Own your beauty like you never have before
* How to understand what cravings really mean and give your body the nutrition it needs
* Receive Health At Every Size based counseling — scientifically proven to positively influence health indicators more than diet programs
* Set healthy boundaries based upon your needs and desires
* Build your business or career by networking with other Empresses
* And so much more!

To register or just learn more, click “Tell Me More!” below!

I will not be offering this special group program again until April at the earliest, so if you’re sick of struggling with feeling bad about what you eat and how you look, join now.

You will be so glad you did.

xoxo,
Golda

Registration Ends Tonight! originally appeared on Body Love Wellness on October 13, 2010.

If you are ready to own your beauty, own your body, and own your health, then you are ready for the Empress Club, my new group coaching program.

Check it out here, or just keep reading…

As an Empress Club member. You will:

• Learn powerful tools to IMMEDIATELY change the way you relate to your body
• Get my unique process for healing from long held emotional eating patterns
• Get support from other women who know your struggles and will support you in moving forward
• Own your beauty like you never have before
• How to understand what cravings really mean and give your body the nutrition it needs
• Receive Health At Every Size based counseling — scientifically proven to positively influence health indicators more than diet programs
• Set healthy boundaries based upon your needs and desires
• Build your business or career by networking with other Empresses
• And so much more!

Now, you’re probably wondering how all of this works. As in, “What exactly do I get as an Empress Club member?” So here’s a breakdown of all that you get to participate in as an Empress Club member.

First, there are the calls. You will get 12 food and body image group coaching sessions in a teleclass form. Each session will be 60-90 minutes long. These classes will be in a workshop style, with a mixture of teaching and Q&A. These are calls where you’ll learn tools to support you in transforming your food and body image issues. And, you’ll get my personal, in-depth coaching on your specific questions. And you’ll learn a lot from the questions and successes of your peers!

Then, there’s membership in the exclusive Empress Club community site. You’ll be granted access to your own members-only protected site where you can get your questions answered by me and my team, share knowledge and inspiration with other members, and access the downloadable audios and other program resources. This is the place to share your experiences, get support, post pictures, network, and so much more!

Plus, we have the bonus Live Event, which I call the Empress Club Coronation. This is a 2-day, private event, where you get your chance to meet the amazing women that you’ve connected with in the Empress Club in person.

Day 1 is a plus size shopping event, where we’ll head to Brooklyn to visit Re/Dress NYC and Lee Lee’s Valise — two wonderful stores dedicated to fabulous plus-size clothes. There, trained stylists will help you create fantastic looks that look great on you. Day 2 is our spa day, where you get to pamper yourself at Spa Castle, an amazing, multi-level spa. We’ll talk body love as we relax and chat in jacuzzis, saunas and whirlpools. Please note: Attendance at the Empress Club Coronation isn’t required, and no new material will be covered. However, it is my personal wish that everyone be able to attend.

That crazy amazing deal on this program that I’ve been telling you about ENDS TODAY. So if you’re ready to sign up, or just want to learn more, just click the button below. You’ll be taken to a link where you’ll get even more info about the program, and get the opportunity to sign up at this really low early bird rate!

I can’t wait for you to join me, Empress!

xoxo,
Golda
Body Love Coach
www.bodylovewellness.com

LAST DAY TO GET AN AMAZING RATE ON THE EMPRESS CLUB! originally appeared on Body Love Wellness on September 30, 2010.

Golda Poretsky, HHC
http://www.bodylovewellness.com

Listen to the podcast here:

Before writing this post, I was staring down a to-do list that had me nearly in tears.  I needed to write my blog, start writing my teleclass (I write myself a 30 page script for each one!), respond to about 10 emails, and more, and it was already getting late.

Ack!

In the old days, I would have powered through.  I would not left my desk until everything was done, even if my brain felt like it wasn’t working.  When I was totally tapped out, I would find little ways to procrastinate, ways that would feel like I was working when I was just spinning my wheels.  I had learned this way working 12-15 hour days as a lawyer.  When taking a break meant that you were going to leave the office at 2:15 AM rather than 2:00 AM, you might skip that break just to get out of the office.

But a voice inside me was telling me, “Take out your bass and practice.  Play that old Cure song that you’ve been fooling around with.”

Somehow, playing bass felt different than just plain ole procrastinating.  When I know I’m procrastinating, it’s almost as if I’m deadening my senses and tuning out.  When I do something creative, I feel like new parts of my brain are firing and my senses are more alive and engaged.

Reluctant as I was to get away from the pressing demands of my to do list, I played my bass for an hour.  Afterward, I felt like I could actually do my work.

By this one simple act, I had reconnected with my creative center.  I had reconnected with the voice inside me that knows what to write, what to say, how to phrase things, and how to do it all with pleasure.

Being creative literally gets your juices flowing.  Have you ever talked about “gestating” an idea?  Have you ever said that you “felt like you gave birth” after finishing a big project?  The urge to create, whether it’s art or music or babies (or the urge to do things that might create babies if not for some intervention), comes from the same place.  It’s why musicians have groupies and 17th century courtesans were as renowned for their poetry as for their lovemaking.

Creativity turns on your mind and body, and connects you to your intuition.  It’s the opposite of “powering through” something to get it done.  In order to be creative, you have to give yourself time and space.  You have to welcome your creativity, be patient with it, and most of all, enjoy it.

If you can make it a practice to take time to be creative each week (or even each day)  you will feel different.  You will feel more empowered in your own life, and more turned on too.  Plus, you may find that you suddenly have a groupie or two, even if it’s your significant other!

If you’re not sure where to start, start with something that sounds fun.  Check out these blog entries for more ideas!

As always, let me know how it goes!

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Looking to transform your relationship with food and your body, while connecting with a community who are on the same journey? Then check out The Empress Club, a new group coaching program designed just for you. Enrollment is happening now! http://www.bodylovewellness.com/empressclub

Golda Poretsky, H.H.C. is a certified holistic health counselor who specializes in transforming your relationship with food and your body. Go to http://www.bodylovewellness.com/stay-in-touch/ to sign up for her newsletter and get your free download — Golda’s Top Ten Tips For Divine Dining!

Get Creative originally appeared on Body Love Wellness on September 27, 2010.

Please note the time change for our last class!

To learn more, click the image below!

4 New Classes This March in NYC! originally appeared on Body Love Wellness on February 25, 2010.

by Golda Poretsky, H.H.C.
www.bodylovewellness.com

Listen to the podcast of this post here:

Oh, Valentine’s Day.  It does such a number on so many people.  Whether you’re in a relationship and don’t know how to celebrate or you’re not in a relationship and nearly hallucinating a hoarde of happy couples wherever you go, Valentine’s Day can easily mess you up.

I remember one particularly heinous Valentine’s Day weekend back in 2006.  Valentine’s Day was on a Tuesday, so it was as if the whole weekend beforehand were reserved for happy couples. I hadn’t had a date in a year.  All of my friends were coupled off.  I spent nearly the entire weekend at home, studying  my Institute for Integrative Nutrition homework and reading a dreary 19th century novel.  Those two things, in and of themselves, were not so bad, but from my perspective at the time, they felt like symptoms of my angst-ridden singleness.

Then, on Sunday afternoon of that never-ending weekend, my doorbell rang. I wrapped my shawl around my shoulders and went to the door.

At first, all I saw was a bouquet of roses.  But there was my apartment building’s super, a tiny, sprightly octogenarian, bringing me flowers during my lonely Valentine’s Day weekend.

I’m not telling you this to say that if you’re feeling really lonely someone’s going to show up with a bouquet of flowers.  Nor will I say that I wasn’t often creeped out by my super’s willingness to ignore a 50 year age difference, and later on, my boyfriend.  But I will tell you that from that day on, I started acknowledging the fact that someone in my life had feelings for me.  He might have been a head shorter and a half century older, but he dug me.  And that was cool, and not another reason to think I was a dork.  I decided to let that feeling of being admired sink into my bones and my bloodstream, and to know that there was more love and adoration coming my way.

After playing with this idea for about two months, I started getting way more dates from the same online dating sites that were yielding nothing a few months before.

Sometimes you just have to feel the love before it’s really there.

So, this week, if you’re feeling unloved, try this technique.  Start thinking of all the people in your life who express their love for you (or even their “like” for you).  Think about your friends who think you’re awesome, the guy at the deli who gives you a free cup of coffee now and again, your coworker who thinks your impressions are hilarious, family members who adore you, people in your life who might not be there now but who were important to you at one time, even your pets who freak out with happiness when you’re near.  Write it all down if it feel right.  Then notice if you find yourself feeling more loved.  As always, let me know how it goes in the comments below.

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Golda Poretsky, H.H.C. is a certified holistic health counselor who specializes in Health At Every Size.  She counsels women and men on how to get off the dieting roller coaster, give their bodies what they really crave, and love their bodies and themselves.

Looking for more support with intuitive eating and getting off diets?  Click here to sign up for your FREE Body Love Wellness Consultation.

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Feeling Lonely? Here’s How To Feel The Love originally appeared on Body Love Wellness on February 8, 2010.