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Unless you’ve been living under a lovely rock this week (and I would love to crawl under there with you), you’ve heard about the Congressional investigation into the Affordable Care Act’s birth control mandate spearheaded by Congressman Issa.

Here’s an image showing who was allowed to speak.

Congressman Issa's All Male Birth Control Panel

Congressman Issa's All Male Birth Control Panel

Here are a few words from a woman who originally was asked to speak and then denied that right by Issa:

The only people asked to speak at this conference were men. Not only were they men, but they were all religious leaders who are anti birth control.

So much for fact finding, huh?

As I looked at this panel, my thoughts went to an earlier panel, convened in 2003 to consider “Obesity And Dietary Guidelines.”

Here’s the first panel:

2003 Congressional Obesity Fact Finding Panel

2003 Congressional Obesity Fact Finding Panel Part 1 (image courtesy of C-Span)

Hmmm, why is this so familiar?

And here’s the second panel:

2003 Congressional Obesity Fact Finding Panel Part 2

2003 Congressional Obesity Fact Finding Panel Part 2 (image courtesy of C-Span)

So Congress looked into the question of obesity, and thought it completely reasonable to (a) not include any women and (b) not include any fat people!

Back in 2003, I was working as an attorney and happened to read about the hearing. This was before I had an inkling that there was such a thing as fat activism, but I remember remarking to a fellow lawyer (who was pretty slim) that I thought it was wrong to have a hearing about fat people without any fat people present. The response I got was something like, “Of course, there aren’t any fat people there. Fat people obviously don’t know what to do about the obesity epidemic!”

At the time, her response really hurt. Even if I wasn’t a fat activist, I didn’t like seeing my body as part of a societal problem. And I thought my colleague was wrong. Legislation is supposed to be well-thought out. Our representatives are supposed to see the intended and unintended effects of the legislation they write, and part of that process is hearing from experts. After a lifetime of being fat in our society, I was an expert on fatness. I knew what it felt like to lose and gain weight over and over, to have trouble finding clothes, to feel like a second-class citizen solely based on my body size. There were millions of us that could have shared our story, so why weren’t we asked?

And the decades-long, sad history of the war on fat is that it has been waged on women’s bodies especially. The message we get, again and again, is that we should take up as little space as possible. That our voices shouldn’t be heard too much, and that voice is only valid if reverberating from a slim, youthful-looking, fair-skinned body. The war on fat is part and parcel of the war on women and the war on people of color.  The message we get is that we should let men (and only men) figure out what’s best for us.

Congressman Issa’s panel wasn’t just a blip, a weird moment in political history.  Neither was that obesity panel.  It is all part and parcel of the war on women’s bodies, and on the right of privacy, and bodily autonomy.  We have to keep fighting for real representation.

Elizabeth Cady Stanton "To deny political equality is to rob the ostracised of all self-respect" quote

Still True Today -- Elizabeth Cady Stanton (public domain image)

Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. Go to http://www.bodylovewellness.com/free to get your free download — Golda’s Top Ten Tips For Divine Dining! And, please join her and twenty of the biggest names in HAES(R) and Fat Acceptance at the Body Love Revolutionaries Telesummit.

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all of the speaker, right here!If you haven’t checked out the live or recorded Body Love Revolutionaries Telesummit yet, there’s still time to join us! Tonight we’re starting up again with our talk on fat blogging and social media with Marianne Kirby (author at xojane), Margitte Kristjansson (director of The Fat Body (In)Visible) and Brian Stuart (of the Red No. 3 Blog)!

Here’s what some folks have been saying about this truly fabulous event:

“The discussion tonight was exceptional. As always Linda brings her vast knowledge to the table, however, hearing a new perspective from Ragen was refreshing for me.”

“She re-framed a long held belief I have had for most of my life; I am a fat person in a thin body to I am a fat person in a fat body. This statement was very powerful for me to hear, and I am going to just sit with it.” — Patti

“The Telesummit brings together some of the strongest voices in our movement in a conversational atmosphere. I find it wonderful to hear the experts speaking so frankly and honestly about their own journeys, struggles and triumphs!” — Lonie McMichael

“The 2012 Body Love Revolutionaries Telesummit is inspiring me to love my body more. I appreciate the wonderful information all the speakers and Golda Poretsky are sharing with us. Thank you Golda!”

“I enjoy the “F*ck Flattery”, first time I ever heard that and I almost passed out with laughter! I LOVE IT!

I want each of these conversations to go on longer and longer. I love what you have created. Tonight was wonderful.”

 
What will you be saying about the Telesummit? Don’t miss out.  Register here and join us!

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Last week, I had the honor of chatting about sex and dating with authors Hanne Blank and Virgie Tovar as part of the Body Love Revolutionaries Telesummit. They shared so much of their expertise on sex and dating*, that I just had to write about it this week.

I like to think of pleasure as a divine right bestowed upon all of us. Unfortunately, it’s a right that we don’t prioritize often enough.  We put all of our other responsibilities first, and forget that pleasure is our responsibility as well.  Pleasure is what makes living actually enjoyable.

Titian Venus Of Urbino

Titian's Venus Of Urbino (image courtesy of wikipedia)

Pleasure, of course, can mean a lot of different things.  If it would make your day more pleasurable to take a break from work and meet a friend for coffee, to buy flowers for your office, to lie in bed for a bit listening to Chopin nocturnes, by all means, it’s time to start doing those things for yourself.  Little, pleasurable acts throughout the day can be completely life changing. (And I hope to address this again in a future blog post.)

But today, I want to address erotic/sensual/sexual pleasure.  The reason I want to address it is that I encounter a lot of clients who have given up on it or feel unduly stressed out just thinking about it.  And really, that makes sense.  If you’re struggling with body image issues, it’s hard to enjoy your body.  It’s hard to be naked.  You’re often waiting for that magical day when you lose x number of pounds, get a nose job, or basically have a different body. Perhaps you avoid dating or avoid sex altogether because of how you feel about your body. And these body image issues affect a wide range of people, even people who may be perceived as having an ideal body.

So, I have good news and bad news.  The bad news is, you’re probably never going to have that ideal body that you want to have.  Or if you have it or get it, it may not last as long as you want it to.

But here’s the really good news: it doesn’t actually matter.

Pleasure is your right, right now.  You don’t need a perfect body to have a great sex life, even if that sex life is, initially, with yourself.

It’s just time to stop looking.  Stop looking for what’s wrong with your body.  Stop looking at your body as a collection of flaws.  Stop looking, and start feelingFocus on pleasure, both as a guiding force in your life and as a feeling within your body.

Here are 3 tips to support you in re-prioritizing and getting comfortable with pleasure:

1) Touch Yourself With Pleasure — This is great to do in bed, in the shower, or whenever you have a free moment.  Just take a breath, and touch your body.  You can touch the top of your leg, your arms, your neck, etc.  Just touch your body and focus on the pleasure of it.  Focus on how good it feels to touch and be touched.  Vary the lightness of your strokes, and really focus on the feeling.  This will help you to lessen the focus on how your body looks, and allows you to understand and connect with how it feels.

2) Your Turn-on Is Sexy — Sexiness isn’t all about looks.  When you’re feeling turned on and connected to your sexiness, that’s a turn on for your partner (and potentially anyone else around).  Feeling connected to the sexiness of your pleasure may even support you in feeling better about how you look on a regular basis.

3) Be A Little Selfish — If you’re someone who worries a lot about what your partner thinks about how you look or what you’re doing, stop worrying (unless, of course, your partner communicates to you that they don’t like it).  Whenever you find yourself worrying over what your partner is thinking but they haven’t said anything about it, reconnect with how your body feels, focus on your own pleasure, and put the focus on yourself.  Focus on who you feel, how your body feels, what you’d like more of or less of.  By doing so, you’ll reconnect with your pleasure and allow yourself and your partner to have more fun.

*By the way, it’s not too late to hear what they and our other wonderful panelists had to say.  Just get an All-Access Pass here and you can hear it all!

Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. Go to http://www.bodylovewellness.com/free to get your free download — Golda’s Top Ten Tips For Divine Dining! And, please join her and twenty of the biggest names in HAES(R) and Fat Acceptance at the Body Love Revolutionaries Telesummit.

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OBSERVATION 1: I miss fat Jonah Hill.

I miss fat Jonah Hill

I miss fat Jonah Hill (image courtesy of wikipedia)

I know it’s not cool to say it, and believe me, I believe in a person’s right to do what they will with their bodies, but I miss fat Jonah Hill.

I think it’s because I like seeing “one of us” in the movies.  His quirky humor was the only thing I enjoyed about Funny People.  I liked him as genius sabermetrics guy opposite Brad Pitt in Moneyball.  I could imagine a little, fat 10 year old who always gets picked last in gym class seeing him in a movie and saying, “Even if I don’t make the team, at least I can be the smart guy in the back office who gets to actually pick the team.”

Now he just looks like a thin guy who’s in movies, and it bums me out.

OBSERVATION 2: I won’t die if I see Melissa McCarthy‘s arms.

Melissa McCarthy emmys dress

Melissa McCarthy (image courtesy of CNN)

I love Melissa McCarthy.  And apparently, she sometimes wears a 3/4 sleeve.  But every time I see her at some awards thing, she has super long sleeves on.

Seriously, I can only imagine the pressure and scrutiny she’s under.  I’m sure her size comes up in every stupid, useless interview for magazines that I refuse to read. But I’m just dying for her to pull a Gabby Sidibe and show some big fat arms!

OBSERVATION 3: All I want is to live in a world where Octavia Spencer doesn’t feel the need to “triple spanx.”

octavia spencer sag awards

Octavia Spencer (image courtesy of Us Magazine)

Speaking of award-winning actresses constantly being asked inane questions about weight, Octavia Spencer is sick of it.  According to Jezebel, she posted about this on facebook, saying, “I am NOT WORRYING ABOUT MY WEIGHT! I AM NOT TRYING TO CONFORM TO an unrealistic model of beauty.”   Amen!

But she also told Ellen, “I triple-Spank. Which is not good. Spanx really, really work, but you don’t need to overdo it.” This woman is a freaking award winning freaking actress.  Can’t she be allowed to enjoy the moment without impinging on vital organs?  I’m all for an end to the havoc of chub rub, but I’m sick of this Spanx crap.

OBSERVATION 4: Paula Deen didn’t get diabetes from cooking with fat.

Paula Deen with dog diabetes

Paula Deen (image courtesy of The Food Network)

Just read this, guys.  Seriously.

OBSERVATION 5: Sometimes I miss the good ole days when Jennifer Hudson and Mariah Carey sang stuff, instead of just hawking weight loss b.s.

Remember stuff like this?

Now I only see her in this (real and awful) Weight Watchers ad:

I realize that all of these celebrities have incredible pressure put on them about their bodies.  Do a google search for any of these people and add the word fat and you will see page after page of horrible commentary.  That’s why it’s so important for each one of us to stand up to fat oppression.

In the meantime, at least we have Gabby Sidibe and Adele.

adele and gabby sidibe with quotes about confidence and beauty

Some food for thought from Adele and Gabby (Image of Adele with quote from definatalie.tumblr.com, image of Gabby Sidibe from NBC, quote from Harper's Bazaar)

I think I need to go back on my media diet.

But seriously, what do you think?  Let’s chat over on my facebook page.

Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. Go to http://www.bodylovewellness.com/free to get your free download — Golda’s Top Ten Tips For Divine Dining! And, please join her and twenty of the biggest names in HAES(R) and Fat Acceptance at the Body Love Revolutionaries Telesummit.

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Tonight, I’m going to be speaking with Ragen Chastain (of Dances With Fat) and Linda Bacon (who literally wrote the book on Health At Every Size®) as part of the 2nd Annual Body Love Revolutionaries Telesummit!

As you may have heard, Ragen has organized a 1 day only money bomb to put up a billboard in a high-trafficked area of Atlanta with a positive message to counteract the negative Strong4Life campaign.

On top of that, the wonderful More Of Me To Love site is matching money bomb contributions up to $5,000!

I’ve already made a donation, but I want to do more. So, I’m donating 30% of the proceeds from Body Love Revolutionaries Telesummit All-Access Passes purchased before 11PM Eastern today.

That means that when you purchase an All-Access Pass today, the proceeds will go:

  • 30% to the Support All Kids Money Bomb
  • 10% to NOLOSE
  • 10% to NAAFA

(and the rest, as always, goes to supporting more free events like this from Body Love Wellness!)

Plus, you get live access to all the calls and access to the recordings through the end of March!

You can check out the Telesummit by clicking here and check out the money bomb by clicking here. You can even purchase your All-Access Pass right here!

 

Yes, Golda, please sign me up for an All Access Pass to the Body Love Revolutionaries Telesummit.

Payment Options

Thanks and I hope to “see” you tonight!

xo,

Golda

EDIT:  We raised $73 for the billboard project just from All Access Pass purchases!  Yay!

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