Guys, I didn’t know it but I have 4.27 signs of aging hair.
I didn’t know that aging hair was even a problem until now! I mean, I’ve been going gray since my late twenties, and my hair isn’t as thick as it once was, but apparently having old hair is really a thing! And I really appreciate that Courtney Cox moved her mostly immobile face just to tell me about Pantene’s latest solution for my deplorably geezerish hair.
But, if I can get serious with you for a minute, I think we need to talk about something EVEN MORE IMPORTANT than having old hair. We need to talk about your labia.
Apparently, retaining your labia is really so 2011 of you. It’s 2013 and it’s time to get with the program! The latest plastic surgery trend is to get your vulva updated, and if you want to be really hip, to just get your labia removed. One plastic surgeon calls this procedure “the Barbie” and it’s designed to give you a “comfortable, athletic, petite look”. (Plus, you’ll probably lose like .5 pounds! So worth it!)
To give you a sense of the numbers, the American College of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons recorded 2,140 vaginal rejuvenation surgeries in 2010, and the International Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons estimates that 5,200 labiaplasty procedures are performed each year. In 2012, the BBC reported that the number of labiaplasties performed in Britain had increased by five times in the last five years. Of course, these numbers represent a very small percentage of women, but there was also a point when only a few people had rhinoplasty, and later, when only a few people had had breast augmentation. Now both are considered much more normal and almost unremarkable.
On a personal level, when it comes to elective surgery, I will always vote “nay.” I like to keep scalpels and anesthesia away from my body as much as possible. I know not everyone is like me, and I do believe that people should do what they want with their bodies.
But, if I can be honest here, I think labiaplasty is a freaking tragedy. I really do. Labia are not like an appendix. They serve a purpose and that purpose is pleasure. And pleasure is really, really important.
It feels like a symbol of our time that women are lopping off their labia by choice, that somehow it’s desirable to have a vulva that is standard, photoshopped, and streamlined. In just the way that our society has pathologized normal body diversity into a “dangerous obesity epidemic” are we now stepping into a new (or not so new) era of pathologizing our pussies?
Can we all get on the same page here about vulvas? Can we get clear that there is tons of variation and that variation is part of what makes vulvas so damn awesome?!
Thinking about this stuff makes me want to tear my (old) hair out. Please comment below and let me know what you think of this “trend”!
Personally, I think your labia (or whatever you’ve got) are perfectly wonderful and that being sexy/attractive/beautiful etc. is way more of an inner game than most people realize. That’s why I’m hosting the Body Positive Dating Master Class this weekend, to give you real, labia-positive advice from real body positive experts. I hope you’ll join me, and feel free to bring your labia.
Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. To learn more about Golda and her work, click here.
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I know my post is a little late for this, but maybe a new person will see it. Your labias are there for a reason. Those lips protect your urethra and clitoris. Having your clitoris exposed can cause desensitization. And your urethra exposed can cause bladder infections. If you have problems with stimulation in your natural state I can understand having a procedure done. But just to fit in with what men’s expectations of what female genitalia should look like, and inexperienced men at that, is beyond me. None of my men ever had a problem parting my curtains. And to the poster who said that the clitoris is the pleasure point, you’re right it is, but my labia minora are also very sensitive to pleasure, sometimes even more so.
The taught of someone going toward my labia with a knife makes me cringe. Have you ever noticed that most women who push beauty produces have had so many costmetic prodecures their faces don’t move, ans/or instead of a smile it is a grimmace. Anyone who listens to these bubbleheads get what they deserve (lighter wallets and aging ‘fill in the blank’). The only way to stop aging is by dying
I think I’d rather taste-test a razor blade smoothie than get my labia removed. At least the surgery wouldn’t be elective.
And I dye my hair, but that’s because nature had a genetic mix-up. Is it my fault I was born with the bastard lovechild of mouse brown and dishwater blonde, when my real color is pitch black? (You have to know me to understand. My personality is ANYTHING but dishwater and mouse.)
Happy Almost Valentine’s Day: Your Hair Is Old And Your Labia Are Superfluous http://t.co/phSEulnC
My goddess – BACKLASH ALERT! This is simply female genital mutilation. And truly depressing.
it took me years to realize that plastic surgery was about not wanting to be harassed about my ‘imperfect’ body…it wld have been far more effective to have been taught how to set boundaries on others’ unrealistic expectations (and demands). even w repeated procedures, there are still people who point out it is still not ‘enough’ to please their standards. since u can’t possible ‘please’ everybody, continuing w that route wld be insane and personally
crazy-making.
who is undergoing the knife here–me or them? and who is paying for it, and not just w money–me or them? is this “fair”?
that said, the notion that what is natural ‘needs’ to be operated on (and what is taken away from the patient in the process) is downright scary. it seems we are being made to feel our bodies are “public property” and that we aren’t supposed to think for ourselves. any “love” we will get will be at our own expense.
“Your vulva doesn’t need to be standard and streamlined.” -@bodylovewellnes http://t.co/h4GERZ3L
“Your vulva doesn’t need to be standard and streamlined.” -@bodylovewellnes http://t.co/vk2CA1w4 #fb
I had elective surgery on my chin a number of years ago because the shape drove me crazy. Shallow maybe, but it was a fairly minor procedure. I also have veneers on my top teeth.
I still dye my gray hair, but once it goes more than half I’ll probably just let it go. I suppose it’s kind of vain, but perhaps its force of habit. I certainly don’t have anything against gray hair!
As for my business down there, my husband doesn’t seem to mind how it looks. He’s never complained. It always looked like, you know, generally what it was supposed to look like. Honestly, I never thought about it much!
I hate to say it but Courtney Cox looks like Skeletor’s sister these days with all the Botox she’s had.