Ending The War With Your Body

make love not war with your bodyIt started even before New Year’s.

The onslaught of ads and messaging telling you that the fun was over. Eating for pleasure, partying, etc. You had done too much. You passed the limit. And now, it’s time to make amends, say your mea culpas, and get your ass to WeightWatchers/JennyCraig/ LucilleRoberts/NutriSystem.

It’s time to stop focusing on fun and pleasure and connection, and start focusing on fighting with yourself. Or is it?

Ending The War Within

I’m going to get to the “War On Obesity” in a moment, but for now I want to chat with you about the war that so many of you are fighting with your bodies every day.

I think it’s time that you and your body get on the same side.

Here’s the thing– there’s a lot of pressure to change your body, to use your will, your mind, to constrain your body, change it, and package it differently.

But the problem is that your body is not on board with all of this change. Your body has its own signals, indicators, processes etc. that have very little to do with what your mind or society wants. And it has no intention of changing.

Why It’s Time To End The War–The Personal

It’s time to end the war with your body because the war does not serve you.

There may have been times in your life where you felt like you were winning the war. You may have lost weight, you may have felt better about your body.

But if victory felt temporary, that’s because it was.

The real victory is peace. The real victory happens when you realize that you and your body are, in every sense of the word, one entity. It’s then that you can start noticing what makes it feel good and really be its ally.

I use the word peace because that’s what this is really about. When you feel more peaceful about your body, you have less stress, you feel happier, you feel better. You’re able to treat your body (yourself) with kindness and compassion. You release shame. You release blame. You feel freer.

Why It’s Time To End The War–The Political

Politics are very important to me too, so I understand if you’re looking for a reason outside of yourself to make this change.

It may sound trite to say it, but divided you fall, united you stand.

I say you because if you’re not at peace with your body, it’s very hard to fight the bigger fight. It’s hard to fight the “obesity specialists,” and Biggest Loser supporters, and even the well-meaning folks who think that obesity is the scourge of society.

When you’re good with you, when you’re at peace with the physical form that you’re embodying on this planet, it’s much easier to fight the good fight. And it’s much easier to model another, peaceful way of existing in the world.

Next Steps

Declare a truce, right now, with your body. You may want to do this formally (and with a touch of legalese), feel free to cut and paste the language below, and change it to suit your needs. How do you promise to treat your body, to speak to your body, to engage with your body? Comment below and let me know if you’ve tried it!

This Peace Agreement (this “Agreement”) is made as of the ____ day of ________ 2013, by and between ________________________________________________ (“I”) and my body (“you”).

The parties hereto acknowledge and agree that they have made peace with each other, in accordance with the terms, covenants and conditions hereinafter set forth.

I hereby agree to commit to the following. I will:
(1) Take care of you as best I can;
(2) Love, accept, and appreciate you just as you are;
(3) Never use self-deprecating or mean language to describe you to others or myself;
(4) Adorn you with beautiful, comfortable clothes and shoes;
(5) Make time for laughter, play, and rest;
(6) Move you in pleasurable ways that are appropriate for you; and
(7) Do my best to listen to your messages and signals.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I, the party to be charged, have executed this Agreement as of the date set forth above.

(Sign here)

(Download this as an image here.)

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Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. To learn more about Golda and her work, click here.

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25 thoughts on “Ending The War With Your Body

  1. what a wonderful and empowering thing to do, we will all feel much better for it too, thanks Golda again, you have made the last few months much better for me to live with my body

  2. I ended the body war about a year or so ago; one of the best things I’ve done for myself. While the peace is sometimes rocky, it’s nothing compared to the torment and self hatred of before.

  3. Oh this was perfect! I am struggling as I see all the new diet commercials. And one of the Biggest Loser kids is from my city! My facebook and twitter feed is full of cheers for the show as well as declarations about new diets, etc. So thank you for this–I already printed it out!

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