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by Golda Poretsky, HHC
http://www.bodylovewellness.com

Sometimes, getting what you want is the scariest thing in the world.

We all know what we want.  We’re good at pining away for something.  But then when it happens, we don’t always know how to handle it.

Say, for example, you’re single and you really want to be in a relationship.  You think about the person you might want to be with, what qualities he or she should have, what he or she might look like, etc.  And then… you become involved with someone, and it may not be like what you had expected.  And then you end up with a whole new set of desires, like, you wish you could get this person to go out more, or stay home more, or appreciate goat cheese.

"Song Of Creation" From The Triple Goddess Tarot. Image By Mara Friedman

Since I started my business, I had a desire that every woman who worked with me would experience big transformations in how she felt about herself and how she related to food.  I want each of my clients to feel a new sense of power, love for their bodies, love for the food they eat, love for who they are and what they mean to the world.  Not only that, I had a big desire for them to feel so good that they wanted to tell all of their friends.  Those are some of my many business desires.

Until I started The Empress Club last year (my group coaching program),  I had always worked with women one on one, so when their programs ended, I would get a lot of juicy feedback on how meaningful an experience it was for them, and sometimes it would feel a little overwhelming, but this lovely, emotional feedback would only be expressed to me a few times a month, at most.  But this time around, as The Empress Club ended, I got a TON of gorgeous feedback about how the program was for the Empresses, and I got it ALL AT ONCE.

This is a great thing, right?  And yet, I found myself judging myself for how I received it, almost like I was trying to push it away because I couldn’t handle it.

Again, I’m not saying that I don’t like getting positive feedback from my clients or that I’m not grateful for it — it’s the best thing in the world to know that what you do actually made a difference to someone.  I’m just saying that sometimes getting what you want can knock you far enough out of your comfort zone that you’re not sure that you want it anymore.

Not feeling good about getting what you want can be a real issue.  It can cause you to push away your desires because you feel not capable, undeserving, or even guilty for having them. So let’s look at 3 ways that you (and I) can deal with making room for more and more of our desires coming true.

1) Keep Track Of Your Desires — Sometimes, acknowledging our desires feels weird.  Especially as women, we’re taught to compromise and quell our desires to keep the peace and not make waves.  That is so not cool with me.  It’s bad for you and it’s bad for the planet.  So the way to start getting more of what you want is to acknowledge what you want.  Keep an ongoing list of your desires.  Allow yourself to fine tune them and add to this list.  Knowing what you want makes it easier to allow yourself to have what you want.

2) Allow Room For Gratitude — I like to keep an ongoing gratitude list.  I write, “I’m grateful for …” and I get specific.  This allows me to digest all that I have and all that I receive.  It gives me the space to really acknowledge the gratitude I feel when I can’t always express it in the moment of receiving it.  After I write a few gratitudes, I take a few seconds (or minutes) to feel the gratitude for these things in my body.  In a way, I see this as much like digesting food — when you’ve digested your food, you create space for more, right?  So when I’ve digested the good things I’ve experienced, I also make room for more.  That’s the power of this practice.

3) Affirm That You Can Handle It — Using the gratitude practice will help you make this affirmation feel more real, but it’s important to keep affirming to yourself that you can handle the fulfillment of your desires.  For example, if you get a promotion at work (hopefully, with a monetary raise) and you’re feeling scared that you can’t handle it, you’ll want to affirm to yourself that “I’m great at my job” or “I’m great at my job and I can handle everything I need to do.”  The power of this affirmation is that you will do better at your job, even if being great at your job means asking some colleagues for support in doing that better job.  Affirmations like this allow the fulfillment of your desires to keep coming toward you.

Feel free to share some of your big desires in the comments section below!

So, I’m going to fulfill one of my desires right now, and that’s to share a bit of the feedback I got on The Empress Club from one of the participants.

Wasn’t that soooo juicy? I’m so excited for Sonia!

By the way, if you’re curious about the Empress Club, click here to get a free 30 minute session with me where we can talk about The Empress Club as well as any issues that you’re having with food and body image.

Happy desiring!

Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. To learn more about Golda and her work, click here.