by Golda Poretsky, H.H.C.
www.bodylovewellness.com
This week, I’m bringing back an oldy but a goody. I hope you enjoy!
The subject of feelings is near and dear to my heart, as I spent many years as an attorney who was more likely to spend her evenings in her office than having fun. In those years, I honed a skill that many of us know all to well: hiding and ignoring my feelings. I got so good at this that I only expressed emotion every once in a while, when a television ad with an adorable puppy would send me into torrents of tears.
Frankly, I thought I was nuts – but I wasn’t really. I’d just made no room in my life for an emotional reality, so my emotions would corner and overwhelm me.
I’ve since learned that acknowledging how I feel throughout the day allows me to enjoy the flow of my life and to stay in touch with my truth. Acknowledging how something makes me feel allows me to either change the situation or look at how I might feel better about it.
For example, if you have a friend who talks negatively about everyone and you find that being around that person makes you feel drained and annoyed, you can do a few things: (a) tell your friend how you feel, (b) spend less time with your friend, or (c) decide that you’re no longer going to let that person’s negativity affect you. However, if you never spent the time to acknowledge your feelings about this friend, you might never realize the variety of actions you could take.
Acknowledging your feelings is also a key component of breaking patterns you’ve been using to numb your feelings. For example, if you’re looking to disrupt a pattern of spacing out for hours and hours playing computer games or eating mindlessly, try stopping whatever you’re doing, taking a few deep breaths, and asking yourself, “How am I feeling?” “What am I avoiding?”
Once you’ve identified your feelings, try to actually feel them in your body. If you find that you’re feeling sad, maybe you just need to relax and cry or ask a loved one for a hug. If you’re feeling angry, you may need to tell someone how you feel or punch a pillow or yell at the top of your lungs for a minute. You may even find that once you’ve acknowledged the feeling it goes away, changes, or even reveals something else deeper and more important to you.
Whatever you are feeling is perfect and alright. You’re not too emotional and you’re not being unreasonable so there’s no need to judge yourself. You’re just feeling. Your emotions connect you to you, to your truth and to your desires.
Experiment with identifying your emotions throughout the week and notice how it affects your life.
Please share your experiences implementing this tip with me and the community by commenting below. Also, feel free to ask any questions.
Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. To learn more about Golda and her work, click here.
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[…] if you’re looking to disrupt a pattern of spacing out for hours and hours playing computer games or eating mindlessly […] –> that is so me.
A still, small voice told me to “feel my feelings” as I retired for the night drained after another day filled with distractions. This morning, I am renewed and ready to heed the challenge “to feel” and blessfully read your article. Thank you for guiding my efforts to speak truth to power in my life.
@Maria. Thank you. That is so lovely. I’m glad you found me just when you needed me!
Hi Golda! I followed this link 20 Inspiring Ways to Boost Your Body Image, and realized that even though I’ve been to your blog before, I’ve never left a comment! I’ve often tried to remove myself from “being too emotional”, especially in professional situations, and it always, always backfires, eventually spilling out in some inappropriate way. “Feel the feelings” is one of those simple statements that is so hard to do!
Hi, Elizabeth! Thanks for the comment. I’m glad you relate. I think we’re taught from an early age to be logical and unemotional, but it just doesn’t work and leaves us feeling disconnected. I’m glad you enjoyed this post and that it helped!
I have one of those friends who makes me feel drained every time I’m around them, I’m going to try implementing your ideas and see what happens. Thanks for posting!
Good luck with that, Patty. I hope it helps.
This is an awesome observation. I am notorious for questioning my feelings and my right to feel a certain way. I often seek validation from other people to find out if my feelings are OK to have. It’s nice to know that it’s not only OK to feel a certain way, but it’s a good thing! It’s what we do with those feelings that matter. Thanks for the insights!
Totally, Laura. Your feelings are yours, and you have a right to feel them. It seems weirdly obvious to write that, but I know that it’s often not obvious at all. I hope you keep checking in with yourself and see where it takes you.
Thanks for the likes! ♥