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by Golda Poretsky, H.H.C.
www.bodylovewellness.com

Happy New Year, my dears!

I don’t need to quote a bunch of statistics in order to tell you that New Year’s resolutions, though popular, are often tossed aside within a week or so of resolving.

Many of us make a myriad of resolutions, the most popular often having to do with creating healthier habits. For many people who aren’t familiar with the problems with diets nor the possiblities of Health At Every Size, their resolutions to get healthy are often conflated with weight loss. But this blog entry is not about why Health At Every Size principles can create more health benefits than focusing on weight loss (which is a discussion that we should definitely have).

This entry is about the only resolution you really need.

Say it with me now…

I resolve to be more loving toward myself this year.

How does it feel? Good? Weird? Icky?

If it feels weird or icky, it’s because you were taught that loving yourself is not the truth. You were taught, impliedly or tacitly, that you need to do a bunch of things before you’re worthy of love. You might think you need to lose weight, or get healthier, or look differently, or act differently, or get a degree in something or other, and then, and only then, you will be deserving of love, even of your own love. You’ve been programmed for so long to think that the way to have a happier, better, more wonderful life is to make yourself do stuff you don’t really want to do.

In fact, it’s the opposite. The way to have a happier, better, more wonderful life is to start being loving toward yourself right now, even if you think it’s crazy.

I find again and again in my practice that those clients that really learn to love and accept themselves have an easier time doing stuff that’s healthy anyway. They find exercise that they like because it makes them feel good. They eat more vegetables and find it easier not to eat allergenic foods because, when they do, they feel good. They start to love themselves so much that making themselves feel good becomes of the utmost importance. All of this happens without much effort because they feel so much better emotionally — they’ve shifted from judging themselves harshly to loving themselves. In the process, they’ve let go of that cycle that many of us know all to well; i.e., set an unreasonable goal for yourself–fail to meet that goal after a while–abuse yourself with food or thoughts or a variety of unappealing coping mechanisms–start the cycle again out of guilt.

In essence, treating yourself lovingly feels like the opposite of effort. It only feels like effort when you are in resistance to it. Loving yourself comes from a different place — a place of deep truth and of deep knowing. When you connect with that place, you can release the resistance and stand for the love that all of us deserve.

Take a moment to think about what treating yourself more lovingly would look like. What would you do for yourself? What would you say to yourself? And what would you stop doing or stop saying?

Make the commitment now to treat yourself with love this year. Maintain your commitment to it, and see where it takes you. And as always, please comment and let me know what comes up for you.

Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. To learn more about Golda and her work, click here.